Day 99. I crawled out of bed this morning after a terrible night with very little sleep. One of the babies and his mother was due to be leaving at 8am so I wanted to be over to farewell them. Although, just after 8am she was told that they wouldnt be leaving this morning. They ended up leaving at 5pm. Jacks was put on nil by mouth from 6am so he would be ready by late morning for his possible surgery, although I was told he probably wouldnt be called until at least mid afternoon. I was reminded, however that Jack was only on the acute list so could be bumped off at any time and would then be back on for 17th December. The anaesthetist arrived to discuss the plan for Jacks anaesthetic during surgery. She explained that they would give him a spinal. There are two different types of spinal anaesthetics, they will move to the second option if they have difficultly getting the needle into his spinal cord. Failing both if these options they will need to intubate Jack. This would only be a last resort because its not ideal with his chronic lung disease and will mean extra pain relief and longer recovery, getting off the ventilator. After signing all the paper work (stating that Jack will not drive for a number of hours after the surgery!!) I sat with Jack for a while before returning to RMH hoping to have a little snooze. Id barely got into bed when I got the call that Jack was heading down to radiology for the ultra sound on the lump on his bottom, so I raced back to the hospital. The surgeon wanted to have it checked before the hernia surgery as he would consider draining the lump if it was required. Jack was put into a tiny incubator and wheeled out of NICU. This is the first time Jack has left NICU since the day he was born. His incubator was pushed by an orderly and he was escorted by two nurses and a doctor. When babies leave NICU they are required to have one doctor and one nurse with them. Down in radiology Jack had an ultra sound on the lump on his bottom. They discovered it was about 6mm now (it was originally 1cm) and reasonably hard. The surgeon would then look at the pictures of the lump prior to going into surgery and decide on a plan. I got really emotional down in radiology and had a good cry, the first of many today. Once we returned to NICU, I got Jack up for a cuddle and we read some stories. Im sure he was looking straight at me. Its the first time Ive felt sure that he is actually looking at me and keeping his eyes on me, which made me feel even worse about his upcoming surgery. Jack was awake and appeared to be listening while I was reading, which was lovely as usually he goes to sleep almost instantly. I was putting Jack back in his cot just after 12 noon, when the phone call came asking if Jack was ready for surgery. It was a mad scrabble to quickly get him ready. Jacks nurse prepared the travel incubator back while I stripped Jack to his nappy and put him in the incubator in a special soft blanket that keeps him nice and warm. He is then strapped down. The nurses need to check the travel incubator, which is on a stretcher and has so many wires, tubes and machines, and also tanks for Jacks oxygen. It looks a bit like a space ship! It seems very complicated and the nurses are so amazing, it is incredible what they need to know to do their job. They also had to gather Jacks medical records go with him. I was shocked at the massive pile of information already on file for Jack. Jack wasnt all all happy about being stripped and put back in this little incubator. He sucked madly on his dummy, crying on and off. Once again two nurses and a doctor and I wheeled Jack out of NICU, this time to theatre. As we arrived there were so many people suddenly around Jack including the surgeon, I cant even remember if he spoke to me its such a blur. I was again taken through the plan, by another anaesthetist, but wasnt really able to focus on what he was saying. Then the nurse opened Jacks incubator and pulled him out slightly for me to give him a farewell kiss. He was crying and refusing his dummy. It all got a bit much for me and I burst into tears too. I had to wait briefly for the nurses to do the hand over and then to take me back up to NICU. About an hour later I got the call that Jacks nurse was heading down to collect him from theatre. I waited eagerly for their return. We returned Jack to his cot and checked his wounds. I was shocked and surprised at the size of them. They were far bigger than Id expected. The spinal anaesthetic had been fine so thankfully there was no need for intubation. Jack was really calm and sleepy. In fact the nurses and I were sure he must have been given something to make him calm but there was nothing written in this notes. Jack was given Panadol suppositories then left to sleep. I was told that I would be able to feed him once the feeling in his legs returned and he was awake. This was expected to take around an hour. However Jack didnt stir much until just after 8pm. He was having IV fluids so wouldnt have been feeling hungry and was obviously completely exhausted from his big morning. So about 8:30 I changed his very messy nappy and feed him then he was given a 40 mil top up before be nodded back off to sleep. During Jacks big afternoon sleep Melissa, Mum and I sorted afternoon tea for the nurses. Mum made her yummy fruit cake and Melissa and I iced the cake which wed made yesterday. The cake was a 100 day cake for Jack and Olivia. It was Olivias 100 days yesterday and Jacks tomorrow. They are born a day apart but recorded as two days apart as Jack was born after lunch so his first day is considered day 0. Olivia was born before lunch so her first day is considered day 1. Mum sat with Jack for a couple of hours and is finding it difficult to resist touching him (no one except the parents and staff are allowed to touch the babies). It has been so great having mum here this week, although its been so busy I feel like weve hardly had a chance to spend much time together. It had been a crazy, hectic, busy and very emotional day. I feel completely exhausted and Im pretty sure my brain couldnt get any fuzzier. There hasnt been any more talk of sending us home but I have been really worried about being sent home on Friday. I feel like it would be too soon after Jacks surgery especially after his history with infections. So although I cant wait to be going home Im hoping it will be Monday or sometime next week.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 05:01:10 +0000
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