Dear David Cameron, I heard you are coming to Scotland tomorrow to save the Union, how sweet of you but I really dont want you to go to any bother dear! I know you had a slight mishap with the Scottish flag today and we forgive you even though you and every other UK government have had 300 years to fly it , it was a lovely thought, just a pity the man that hoisted it was as useless as Alistair Darling so dont take it too hard, like the Better Together Campaign, it is just not your fault. If you managed to stop by the Royal Mile can I suggest you pop in to a tourist shop and buy a See You Jimmy Hat and when you get to Glasgow please do strip to your wife beater and hold a can of Tartan Special as us Scots love being portrayed as historical stereotypes with no reasoning or political understanding. You may also want to pick up a copy of the Scotsman, there are some really good jobs in there if you have the right school tie, best be prepared if us pesky Scots decide not to be patronised by London on the 18th and do watch out for that Boris and Farage, I am sure they want your job! Finally when you leave can you please take some of the Orange Lodge with you as they said they are leaving if there is a Yes vote and it will save them a bus fare or having to argue with the driver about taking Scottish notes. Love Alec PS: I am sure Tony Blair can give you tips on reinventing yourself after a major political disaster, he failed to find WMD, killed 150000 in the process but still got a cushty job as a Peace Envoy in the region he helped to make unstable so chin up old man, the future is not as bad as it may seem.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 20:59:19 +0000
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