Did not work first time, shamelessly stolen but worth a read Superb article in the Financial Times. Very humorous but has a seriously underlying message. Well worth a read and a share: THE SNP’s BLUEPRINT FOR INDEPENDENCE IS REMINISCENT OF A NOTE FROM A SON TO HIS PARENTS The campaign for Scottish independence has moved up a gear with the publication of Scotland’s Future , the Scottish National party’s effort to persuade fearty Scots that there is a blueprint for a new nation. It tried to assuage concerns by stressing how much will remain the same: in this vision Scotland would keep the Queen, the pound, the Bank of England, the BBC (albeit renamed the Scottish Broadcasting Service) and even the National Lottery. This does assume the rest of the UK is prepared to accede to all these demands, especially the retention of a sterling area with the Bank of England remaining lender of last resort to the new foreign country. While the SNP leaders may see themselves as the heirs of Scottish warrior heroes, it seems their version of Braveheart is one whose mum still does his laundry. Scots prefer to see the split as an amicable divorce but the tone of this blueprint reminded me of the kind of note I might have written to my parents demanding greater freedom. Dear Mother and Father, Let me begin by saying how much I have enjoyed our time together and how much I value the bonds of family, friendship, history and culture that we share. But I believe it is time for us to redefine our relationship as one of equals. While we have achieved great things together – a college degree, a purple belt at karate and that internship at JPMorgan – it is time for me to stand alone as a proud, confident individual. For my part, I believe my wit, youth and can-do attitude (except on Saturdays, when I like to sleep in) have contributed greatly to our shared success. So within the next few weeks I shall begin my new independent life when I move in with some friends who have a spare room in Peckham. Obviously, my deposit will come from my share of our pooled assets. If you could make the bank transfer in the next few days, it would smooth our harmonious transition. This does not mean that I am surrendering my old bedroom, which I expect to be maintained for my future use exactly as it was, as my part of our shared territorial claim. DO NOT TOUCH MY AMPLIFIER! I know you may have thought you could turn the room into a study or guest bedroom but it is a shared asset and, when I visit, I do not expect to see a sofa bed, a futon, or any watercolours where my poster of Mila Kunis used to be. Naturally, the requirement to retain my room does not mean you can tell me when to tidy it. For the past two decades, decisions about tidying my room have been taken by people (you) for whom I would not have voted on at least 12 of the 21 years I have lived in the house. I will obviously run an open border with you. Any of you are welcome to crash at my flat and I will feel free to invite any of my friends to stay in my room as long as they want. I would expect you to afford the bearer of my invitation all assistance and allow them to proceed without let or hindrance. Clearly, a major aspect of our new constitutional settlement will be the financial arrangements. I’ve looked at the finances and am pretty confident I can make ends meet without you but I think it would be best for all of us if I continue to cite you as guarantor on all my bank accounts and store cards. Please do pay promptly if asked – the interest really can mount up. I recognise you may ask me to bear a proportionate share of our household debt. Well, we can talk about that once you have agreed to all my other friendly requests. I can see how you might argue that, since many of the debts arose from your need to bail out my bank accounts, I should pick up a percentage of those debts. But if you think about it logically, those bills arose because of a failure of regulation on your part, so really the responsibility is yours alone. I will still need the car at weekends. I know you like to go to the country but, strictly speaking, as a full member of the family it is my car also so I think it is reasonable to have use of it at least two days a week. I’ll chip in for petrol but it is best if you keep me as an occasional driver on the insurance. It works out cheaper that way for everyone. We need to talk about furniture. I will want some chairs, a table and so on, but you should not have to give up the Xbox or Sky TV subscription, so I will settle for cash to the value of a new one. You can keep the porcelain dolls and the picture of the crying boy, as a gesture of our continued friendship. Your loving son and equal. PS Please forward my allowance. I accept PayPal
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 22:35:43 +0000