Dont Touch That Bagel! I hate dating. I do. But Im pretty sure Ms. Right isnt just going to put in an appearance at my front door. That only happens in the movies. Maybe its time to write a screenplay. So in my continuing efforts to make an attempt, I agreed to spend an afternoon with a complete stranger. I hate making small talk, and for some reason I usually end up with dates that talk in monosyllables. Desperate for conversation, I panic and start rambling. She was attractive enough, and well dressed. The only thing missing was a personality. We ended up at Whole Foods because I thought I could pick up a few things so the afternoon wasnt a complete waste. I was really looking for an escape, but she was on me like white on rice. I couldnt get rid of her. She kept getting in my way in her efforts to be helpful. Then she did something that sealed her fate in my eyes. I was reaching for a couple of Everything bagels. She was micromanaging. I was getting annoyed. While trying to get a couple of bagels out of the bin, and get around Ms. Thing, I fumbled and dropped one of the bagels on the floor. Thats when my perfectly coiffed date gracefully reached down, scooped the bagel off the floor and threw it back into the bin - while giving me her brightest, winning smile. ...needless to say, there will not be a second date. ...and if youre in the Whole Foods on 59th Street, stay out of the Everything bagels bin. :-\
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 22:23:18 +0000
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