Earlier in the morning, I went for some more blood tests, however, once again, had to also do another 24 Hour Urine Collection in what has disturbingly become an all too familiar old friend, the plastic orange specimen jug. Unfortunately, transportation to the lab did not go smoothly, and upon arriving into their lobby, I noticed the jug had tipped over, resulting in a slow leak which had moistened the plastic bag in which it was being carried. I sat in the corner of the waiting area, trying to be subtle, as I corrected the situation, because I knew even though a lot was not lost, if the desk tech received a wet bottle, she would declare the test as invalid. I pivoted my body and discreetly lifted the jug up on top of my lap to wipe the sides while I concealed it. Wiping them down with a tissue found at the bottom of my wifes purse, I felt I was in the clear, until I lifted it up, to reveal several urine splotches now on my pant leg. Lovely, the bottom was also wet. This clean up job was now too much for her tissue donation could handle. I left the jug on the chair and walked up to the counter, asking where the restroom was. Now with urine streaked pants, I probably didnt even have to ask, as it was pretty obvious where I needed to go. They pointed me through the door and on the way there, I grabbed Old Orange, as we were finally on the path to a dry salvation. Well, we were, until I found the bathroom door to be locked and occupied by someone who was clearly struggling in there. Super. It was going to be a while. I sat in one of the leather waiting chairs facing the bathroom and set down the jug on the floor in front of me. I lamely kept using that one pathetic wet tissue, only to notice that now my hand had pee on it. At that moment, another man previously there before me had returned to my waiting area. To stake his claim, he sat in the chair next to me. I knew he was there first, but wanted to avoid an awkward situation if he thought I was cutting in front of him, and all I needed was paper towels, so I decided to start a conversation to bring that out into the open. I said, Hi there. I know you were here before me, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Before you go in and shut the door to do your business, could you just hand me a bunch of paper towels, first?. And he responded to me just like anyone would if they were propositioned by another man covered in his own urine. Uhhh. How about you just go in first. #resultsshouldbeinnextweek
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 23:14:58 +0000
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