Everything else in the house is asleep but the crickets, and for once they arent screaming (metaphorically, of course) their little hearts out but are making a rather pleasant background chirping noise. Well, I say everything is asleep, I have no idea about the ferrets which are on the other side of the house, and Im not sure if tarantulas actually do anything that we would view as sleep and most are nocturnal anyway. Oh, can you tell I dont have my ADD meds yet? Thats because the pharmacy normally doesnt carry it and its a special order so I wont have anything until Monday. Not that having them is going to do anything to help my insomnia, but at least Ill be better able to focus on what Im babbling about when its Odark-thirty and I cant freaking sleep. I need a laptop with palm rests for my hands to keep them off the buttons, especially off the stupid touchpad which is set really flush into the case and is hard for my calloused fingers to find all the little zones for doodads and whatnots because the constantly floating pointer keeps bringing crap up while Im trying to type that covers the screen so I cant see what Im doing. Terri challenged me to try to write at least two paragraphs a week. Im not entirely convinced that all of my pet talk counts in the deal we made, or if inane nonsense of stray trains of thought crashing into one giant metallic clanging pile of rubble like this falls into the category of paragraphs written. Terri? They werent my rules, so have I been weekly qualifying so far? Nicole has been trying to get me to write again as well. I miss writing with the old crew, with Teri and Nikki and Davin and so on, but I just dont feel as though the drive and need to write is there with me anymore. I dont think my days of attempting to write fiction are dead and gone, anymore than I think my enjoyment of RPGs is deceased, its just that I cant really be bothered. It could be depression on some level, which is more than entirely possible, considering the last few years and I swear Im about to cut off part of my hand if it doesnt stop making the stupid cursor float around. Also, my anxiety is another issue that makes me unsure if I even CAN write anymore and now my hand makes the entire screen Im typing on go away for a few seconds, just because it can. I feel as though I stopped too cold and hard in doing any writing or RPGs, and I dont know theres a restart button that can get me to do it again. Even the cats are snoring, how unfair is that?
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 07:31:10 +0000
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