First, Thanks Vets. Had a day off today. Took a nap. Went to the movies. Turn away now... spoiler alert. Interstellar. Oh the hype. And Matthew McConaughey didnt even take his shirt off. You know the drill... earth is doomed .. somebody needs to save it? Matt is a disgruntled former pilot/astronaut (anybody see 4th of July?). A farmer no less. Vuja De all over again. and guess what? He has problems saying goodbye to his semi rebellious/smart kids. Oh, and his wife is dead. Too much dust. Clouds of dust. The dust is amazing. It knows binary code. NOT kidding. She died because she was a bad housekeeper. Oh man... Im gunna die! All my dust can do is turn into dust bunnies... and the fields of Okra are on fire!!! I swear to god. OKRA! Who in the hell is growing OKRA as a staple? WOW. More dust! nobody bothers to sweep the floor. Good thing! It forms into Morse code and gives the GPS coordinates to the underground NASA? Are you still with me? Matt takes off on a Saturn V rocket. Hmmmn. Really? 1968 called and they want their rocket back. But we now have super intelligent/funny scissor robots. Dial down the funny to 50% (a real quote) ... So now lets move around in zero gravity... maybe next time they wont show where the cables attached to the space suit pants???? COME on! and somebody buy Hans Zimmer (oscar winner) a new synthesizer! Super loud over-driven pipe organ music? So dramatic. not. Throw a trumpet in once in a while (Im thinking 2000 Space Odyssey?). So lets recap. Everyone is driving 1996 gas guzzlers and we are using antique rockets. Well. The solution is that we take 5,000 frozen embryos through a recently discovered worm hole located near Saturn. It will only take two years to get there, Not a problem cause we now have suspended animation. Maybe the planet wouldnt have been in such bad shape if they had applied some technology to replace the 1997 Dodge Ram Duallys that all the farmers were driving... Thank god we made it through the wormhole, now we can try to find those manned probes we sent 10 years ago. Look! Theres one now! dang it. Its next to a black hole. and every hour spent there ages you 7 years. Ooops, not us, just all the people on earth (the ones were trying to save?) just got 23 years older. Totally worth it to go to the surface and collect the data. and yet the surface is completely covered in water. but its only 2.5 feet deep. .... except for that 200 foot wave coming at us! S_it. Lets get back in the space craft? dang it. The engines got flooded... tick tock. tick tock. The next planet is covered in ice. even the clouds(?) are frozen. Here we go again! Just a thought? how about sending an unmanned probe instead? Hey? Where did Matt Damon come from? Time for some Buddha psycho babble platitudes- save the earth, love is powerful, meaning of life... OMG. MATT M, Take your shirt off already! I know, lets head into the black hole. So much gravity that light can not escape and everything gets crushed. That is where all of the answers are. Anne Hathaway - get a weave! Your hair was still short from Les Miserable (how I felt after my popcorn ran out). Cut to where the people of earth are now on a space arc next to Saturn (Where is Bruce Dern Silent Running when you need him) and God was behind the whole thing. Oh that trickster... God! but seriously, Thanks Vets.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 11:27:50 +0000
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