For a number of days straight now, several times a day when I am about to lay down or am in between watching something, basically when its quiet and Im tired, I start to either remember things I wanted to say to someone before sleeping, I make up a conversation sometimes, or maybe just saw them post something on here. Anyway, the weird part is that I keep drifting off and when I refocus my mind again, I realize I had an image of the other person standing behind me in my room at the given time. And only when I kind of pay attention again and stop dozing off do I realize it and it feels creepy because then I suddenly feel like they were here and disappeared, even if I know they were not here to begin with. I swear, watching Waking Life years ago the first time, and the couple of times since, I since watching it increasingly come to wonder just how conscious some of the people in the movie really get in their lucid dreaming. My short term experiments into trying to be more conscious than the light lucidity I often achieve has resulted in my dreams changing in narrative style, in how I work my moral decisions or feel obligated toward a greater cause (or not), and since my dreams started getting more realistic I in the last few weeks have even brought up on here, aside from this current phenomenon of half-awake-thinking-someone-is-standing-here-talking-to-me thing, I also have had a few days in a row out of the last several where I woke up several times into another dream that felt like actually waking up and your brain lies to you that youre in your room and up just like how it works when you really wake up... things are only physically there when we cant honestly tell ourselves that they arent, or anyone else who comes into shared observance with you of many things. I woke up out of sleep and KNEW I was awake one day a few weeks ago, but my room was really dark and I had just been napping extra so my waking up/falling back asleep repeatedly made me have more vivid/lucid dreams, so when I realized I was awake yet my brain wasnt sending all the signals of WAKE UP, YOUR ROOM LOOKS LIKE THIS, YOU FEEL LIKE THIS, THIS IS HOW THE WORLD LOOKS AND FEELS. I noticed my room felt like somewhere else so I tried to tell my mind to keep going in the direction of trying to be awake in a made up physical landscape, rather than encourage it to put my room back together again. For a while, I felt myself somewhere else and when I finally told myself Id had enough, I wanted to fully wake up. I immediately did wake the rest of the way up and it was almost like a caffeine kick in the morning, but its the few seconds of your brain kicking on and sending a bunch of chemicals through that tell your brain HERE: TRY TO USE THESE TO GET OUT OF BED AGAIN. But instead it was my brain kind of going like why are you letting this logic through? Senses have to stay as committed as one remembers them enough to understand. As in, if you are laying there really visually seeing yourself almost like you turned your room into a different thing like in a dream, your senses read the same signals your brain would send if it was your actual reality. the brain waves you sense a dream with are the same ones you see your waking life with, so what is reality? If your brain is half awake and the logic of I am consciously sensing myself laying here now, and wow i can make my room feel like im sitting in a cabin! is given, your brain doesnt reject it, and it seems its waking fully up that sends enough energy through you that your brain expects a higher level of logicality to things and thus shows you what you know should be there. Ive had a dream where my hand was on human flesh and i could detail for you if it was fair skin, skin color shade, etc, and this was enough to wake me up, and upon waking up my hand from the dream was literally grabbing my blanket in the same way and i felt the shift from humid-human-skin to blanket fabric.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 21:31:40 +0000
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