For the longest time I used to think, Ill be happy when... I have the career Or when I have the perfect body Or when I find the one. The list would go on and on. I was never happy with what I had and where I was. I had the thought today to go back and reflect on some old texts that I had saved. I started at the beginning and read each one. Some made me laugh, some made me cry. Some blew me away. This past year I embarked on a journey of self discovery. It all started when I stopped covering baseball. I was devastated because I had associated who I am with what I do, or did. I asked myself, who am I? And had no answer. When I stepped away from being a reporter and followed a different path, an unknown one, I struggled often with if it was the right decision; With finding confidence with myself. As I the read texts, I noticed there were glimpses of me, then at other times I was a mess. I was so unsure then. How can anyone get to know you if you dont know yourself? As i sat there and meditated I felt answers being revealed to the questions I asked so often in tears. I felt weight come off my shoulders and a big smile came over me. Im so grateful for those ups and downs, and for the beautiful people in my life who helped me along the way. You have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else. You have to find love for yourself before someone can truly love you in return. I am happy...now. Period. No more whens. In this moment. I am love. I am loved. I am in love...with myself, with my life and everything and everyone in it and with the most beautiful soul. And I know confidently the answer to who am I? Keep your heart open. Stay true. Always. First time in mermaid pose without pain since my low back tear.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 19:12:41 +0000
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