From Military 1 Returning from war: Restoring hope by fulfilling your needs After returning, you’re just not the same person anymore. Where do you turn? by Stephanie WeichertThursday, August 08, 2013 Comment EmailinShare1You’ve seen war. Explosions rocked the building you sat in and woke you up countless times at night. Perhaps you lost your buddy or you were called to do what no one should ever have to do. Being in the service during wartime was not about the income once your boots hit the ground - it was about life and death.Now you’re at home. You’ve tried to find a place where you fit again, but you’re just not the same person anymore. Where do you turn?So many vets turn to managing symptoms. But which symptom do you start with? Do you start with depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, marriage problems, problems at work, despair, exhaustion, isolation or a feeling of a complete lack of significance? What if you could change the way you think in order to completely annihilate multiple symptoms at the same time? The truth is, we all have something in our life that needs reinvention- even if we haven’t seen war. You are not alone.When someone’s job meets the majority of their needs, a job change can unearth feelings of displacement and insignificance. Coming home from war is the ultimate job change.The Six Human NeedsAccording to Tony Robbins, there are six human needs. Everyone has the same ones. It’s up to us to determine how we meet them.“Your top need, whatever it is, is the single biggest factor that controls your life,” says Cloe Madanes of RMT Coach Training. The needs include: Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love and Connection, Growth and Contribution.Certainty is the need for stability, safety and comfort.Variety is the need for stimulus and change.Significance is the need to feel special and worthy of attention.Love and Connection is the need for a connection with others and the need to be loved.Growth is the need to develop and expand.Contribution is the need to give beyond yourself.If you aren’t meeting your needs on a high level you may be only managing symptoms instead. For example, if you don’t feel significant because you haven’t found a civilian job yet, would you hang out at home feeling depressed? If you don’t feel connected or like you aren’t contributing, would you drink to numb the pain you feel?During wartime, meeting your needs is typically not a conscious decision. However, once you are at home, meeting your needs is absolutely essential. For example, if you felt a sense of significance while deployed, how might you choose to replicate that feeling now that you are home? Don’t wait for your life to change; decide to deliberately change your life. You can choose to meet your needs in a healthy way.An Exercise...Go back and review the needs listed above. Begin thinking how you might begin meeting your needs on a consistently high level. Follow these four steps:Write down how you have been meeting your needs.Score how well you have been meeting each of your needs on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best).Next, select your top two needs. This will tell you what you focus on and what has been important to you.Finally, go back through your list. If you didn’t meet one or more of your needs on a very high level, change your approach. An example of taking control over your life might look like:Certainty – Create order to your schedule including daily exerciseVariety – Try something spontaneous each week, like changing up your workout routineSignificance – Create consistent connections with friendsLove and Connection – Make time for meeting partner/spouses needsGrowth – Take an online class or learning something new each weekContribution – Contribute time to a charity or send letters and care packages to deployed troopsMy goal for you is that you will move past managing symptoms to living out your dreams. It’s time to move forward. You’ll have to take active steps in order to create a more fulfilling, happier life.How would you feel if stopped managing your symptoms of stress and started regaining control over your life? It’s time to start living - time to jump in the driver’s seat and take control over how you feel. Won’t it be great to feel good again? AboutAdvertiseContactSupportProfileCopyright © 2013 Military1. All Rights Reserved.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Aug 2013 01:42:48 +0000
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