From Tenzin Dorji Dagapela Middle Secondary School Dagana Bhutan To Angel Kelzang Chhoden Dewachhen Heaven My Dear Love, It’s 19th August, 2014 but it seemed no less than the 19th August, 2013. The weather is just the same and the day, as gloomy as it was that day. I took a day off today for myself. I think I need some time alone. 19th of every month haunted me but this 19th is beyond tolerance. It is a reminder for me that you have been gone since a year ago. According to the Bhutanese calendar you became an invisible angel a year and 13 days ago. So, I went home the previous week to be a part of your one year depart-anniversary conducts. As I drove down, I realized I hadn’t visited home even once in the past 8 months. I felt guilty as I neared home. I knew mom would be waiting outside like she always deed when we went home together. And there she was. As I got out of the car she scanned the whole car from a distance. She then immediately busied herself finding some works but I exactly knew what she was undergoing. After all it was the same car; It was the same me; It was the same expectation, but this time the one who opened the door and appeared out of the front seat was my mom. It is just a year and so many things have changed at home. Our lovely nephew Drukda can now walk without any assistance. He even utters few words and can understand basic instructions. I let him watch the videos that you made of him in my cell-phone, but he showed no sign of knowing anything about it. Perhaps he is too small to understand anything. I am sure he will thank you one day for all those love that you showered upon him. Niece Kelchho has also grown so big. She still loves to go on a drive. I once took her with me to the town but before I covered a kilometer, she fell asleep. I had to hold her in my lap and drive slowly. Luckily there wasn’t any traffic police on our way. At night both of them slept with me, but Kelchho had difficulty sleeping because of the heat. We used the fan that I bought for you when you were admitted to Gelephu hospital last year and it helped. So many people visited that day. Ms. Pema Choki, who remembered you as her sister also paid us a visit. Her husband too expired last year. However, she seemed lot stronger than me, making me wonder why? I later browsed through her Facebook and learned that she made her children her strength. I learnt a lesson from her and soon discovered strength for myself as well. That is why I gave my own story a happy ending- happiness of Camp RUF. Lately a concerned brother told me that perhaps the cost of Camp RUF was you and I should know that the camp is the new form you have taken. I thought I understood what he said but not as clearly as when I related with Ms. Pema’s lesson for me. With a very heavy heart I returned two days later. Mom told me, “You came just as in a dream and now you are leaving just as in a dream”, breaking into a cry. I held her and reassured her that I will be her son-in-law throughout my life, no matter what it takes. I don’t know what kinds of times await me hereafter. I know I am a horrifying husband; a terrible son-in-law and a horrible human being. I hope to grow with time but even if the betterment is not there my way, I shall never stop being what I am. The things that are coming up next sounds disturbing for both of us. I have so many things going on in my mind since the start of day, but I decided not to bother you with any of my disturbing thoughts. It is not at all justified to do that. So, let me stop here for today. With Respectful Remembrance Yours hubby
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 09:16:48 +0000
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