Garage Saleing I was remembering my mom this morning. I had driven from Acapulco to surprise my mom for her birthday. I had managed to arrive at her house at about 4 am. When I turned down the street I noticed her lights were on. I thought oh shit “Garage Sale Day”. Now those of you that knew her know that this was a sacred day. I mean it was Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and her birthday all wrapped up into one. Except it happened every Saturday morning. Now I had not ridden with my mother in probably 45 years and I still had cold chills thinking about it. Well the fact that I had driven 3 days was no excuse not to go to garage sales with her. When I offered to drive she gave me this withering stare that reduced this 57 year old retired man to a whimpering 4 year old. What is the matter with you do you think I am to old to drive myself around? All I could say was “no mam” and wish I had a crash helmet. So I got in and buckled up said a quick prayer and closed my eyes. She turned the radio on and the French music up and we tore ass backwards out of the driveway and into the street without her giving a backwards glance. Over the years people on the other side of the street had learned not to leave their cars on the street cause she would hit it 7 out of 7 days when she pulled out. We tore ass thru Sulphur with the caution lights illuminating Hwy 90 like a race track. I regretted nor checking closer when we were buying her a new car a couple of years before because this damn thing drove like a race car. The first red light we hit, she pealed rubber on the green as Jolie Blon came on the radio. She looked over at me, grinned and said …”Dis damn ting got some spunk huh”. I made a mental note that if I lived thru today I was heading over to kick Darren Theroit’s ass. Of course Darren was probably still holding a grudge for when we bought the last car for her and he stupidly decided to take a test drive with her. He came back white as a sheet. Mom said, I didn’t like dat one lets go find another one to drive. Darren said yes mam pick any one you want and you can drive it by yourself. She said I tought you told me dat was against the rules but she was already walkin away. I said is it against the rules? Darren said yea, but I would rather lose my job instead of my life. Well all of a sudden a set of police lights tear out of the mall and are in hot pursuit of us. I am thinking this is not a bad thing until I look down and we are doing 70 mph in a 45 zone. I said mom there is a cop car behind us and they want you to pull over. What the heck you think they want she asked with an innocent face. Well they shined the light in her eyes to which she said boy git that doggone light out of my eyes. I just had cataract surgery what you doing trying to blind a poor old widow woman. I just closed my eyes and cringed. To my surprise the light was moved over and the voice said license and registration please. She asked what for? Why would you be harassing a poor ole widow woman on the way to buy her poor handicapped granddaughter a dresser. Then she started out of the car to which the police officer started backing away and pulling his gun. I am thinking shit, now they gonna shoot my mom and I started to get involved when this other voice said meekly..Good morning Mrs. Delcambre. Mom perked up den and asked is dat dat no good Benoit boy harassing me again..He said yes mam it’s me but I was just riding with this other guy. She said you mean the one that is going to shoot me? He meekly said yes mam that would be the one. She said do I have to call your momma again…He said no mam ..you can go and I am so sorry that we bothered you..To which he said to the other guy come on dumbass before you get us both fired. Seems they had picked her up sometime before and when they got her to the police station. She asked the chief if he still peed in the bed. Then called their moms to report them. Ronnie D
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 14:52:11 +0000
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