Good Morning My friends. thought i would share with you all a Staten Island group i belong to , This is our Christmas story.. Lmao Its three weeks before Christmas and Jesus is born in Staten island .Santa Claus was hating the mall. And getting ready to sing loud during his flight. Are annoyed with marks and spellcheck. Toys were falling from the sled onto the snow and the reindeer were eating carrots, Santa was hungry, very very hungry and not paying the Verrezano toll. So he decided bridge to avoid tolls when he hit a passing barge . Oh my Goodness That held reindeers in thin air. But reindeers can maneuver like jets. So away they went into the air.with their gps. Trying to hurry so they wouldnt be short of elves on shelves, while in route they noticed a sad little girl. She was crying and waiting for Santa to come with his reindeer but their GPS was having trouble getting a signal they ended up misfit toy Island. Rudolf wanted help to follow the stars to navigate into the cloudy skies. When he saw a UFO hovering not far away over the island of misfit toys. Then he decided Warp speed scotty . Rudolfs nose blinks lighting the sky cotton candy pink while angels sing and elves cheered off he went to see the Staten Island mall and fill up his large sack with lots of toys and pasta . Yep the sack over flowed with lots of goodies for all the Staten Island kids who were good all year long. And happy for whatever poured forth bad boys & girls got sacks of coal and poop and no Nunios so they cried. But then Santa Stopped to eat a bunch of cookies and milk and they apologized Bad attitudes gone. An Angel appeared from heaven above saying only 2 more days left before the big celebration of Christ Peace on earth and good will toward all men and all women and children too. But then Rudolf needed to crap, so they made stop at grandmas but she was hitting the eggnog walking around outside no clothes on hanging the lights . Once she realized who it was standing behind her with his shiny thigh high boots fell face down on the snow. The paramedics came singing Christmas carols drinking eggnog to that was spiked with captain morgan they sang until they were snockered , drunk as a monkey playing football. They fumbled and tumbled down the snow covered hill. Frosty caught them, Frostys a lifesaver til he melted.Grandma Cursed at the person recording the wild scene and suddenly the nsa showed up and all were escorted back to jodys club forest the mountain head quarters to get warm and drop dead. Gorgeous Hunk walks with two bottles of bayer asprin , but tequilas better on the rocks with the worm, no straight up with corona chaser. Then came Hank the hung elf with big smile and And bulging pants was really stuffed his sack filled with contraband to give away to anyone who wants to party . A good time was brewing on Christmas eve. Everyone was sleeping except for Santa because hes horny , Dont say so, wait theres more Santa brought some cookies and rum for everyone to devour and drink yum yum yum, bellys were full with holiday food. Excited Children everywhere couldnt wait for Kentucky fried chicken in their stockings on Christmas Morning, Said holy crap pass the tums gonna get sick , run, run, run or Carl Farts and lights out.. Jingle , Jingle , Jingle upon the stars i see lights a red glow beyond the clouds can it be st nick., it is Rudolf rosy and white saving the night bringing Santa close to Tottenville finally.Ho HO HO he has arrived. I hear the hooves on the roof must be thieves wanting my booze i smell cookies but i rather have a coors light, kahlua and milk, Shot of tequila, Margarita on rocks, And then he fell in snow with bloody nose getting up Dizzy and feeling woozy Suddenly it happened Jesus helped him find his way to AA meeting. But first he wanted just one to do a hit stumbled and fell Red all over Cant get up only can stay in princess bay for one day and then back to north pole with the reindeer where mrs Claus to deliver presents!
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 15:01:26 +0000
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