Good morning (again), When is the “right” time to disclose to others about our illness? We certainly can decide never to share this information. However, besides cheating us out of close intimate relationships, which is huge, we can be setting ourselves of for resentments, and unnecessary hurt feelings later. But who do we tell and why do we tell? Well, we don’t do it right away. That can overwhelm someone. We need to take some time. We need to develop trust. Most of all we need to feel safe. We first decide if the person has a place in our lives and what role they will play. For example: We don’t tell acquaintances. First, we lay the ground work of our own boundaries, as we develop in our recovery work, (however long that takes). Then we do not cross our own lines. Ever! We must be accountable to ourselves. While we are getting to know someone we should observe and listen. Do they gossip about others? Do they do what they say they will? Do they lie to others? Do they have other long standing relationships? If not, why not? Keep in mind when two people come together they tend to tell about the same amount. So, we can start by “matching” the other person’s level of disclosure. Then gradually we can start to share, if we have decided we want this person in our lives. The closer we get, the more we disclose. Deciding what we want to share is a deeply personal matter. We pick, we choose, and we do so carefully and with consideration for both people. Be Well
Posted on: Fri, 07 Jun 2013 11:52:41 +0000
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