Greetings Zane, Im a 40 something single mom. Ive not had many relationships and lack experience when it comes to dating. Men dont approach me. I thought that maybe something was wrong with me. Im friendly, but reserved. Im quiet and tend to find satisfaction in intellectual pursuits. I am attractive, as Ive been told as much. I am rather plain though because I dont wear makeup and I wear a natural hair style. Plus, I dress conservatively. Im responsible and although Im not rich by any means, I own my home and my car is paid for. I think Im a good catch, for the right man. Ive tried approaching men that Ive found attractive in the past, only to find that I was not their type or they were unavailable. Ive not had any luck with online dating. Im not very comfortable being the aggressor, Im sorta old school and feel that if a man is interested, he should express himself. So there is a guy I have recently reacquainted with, hes everything, so far, that I look for in a man. Hes handsome, smart, single and no children. He makes me laugh and we can talk about anything. I like being around him. So my question is, do I tell him that Im interested or do I wait to see if he says so? I would rather not get my feelings hurt again but I dont want to miss an opportunity. I havent dated in over five years and Ive been trying to practice patience and keep the faith that hell find me when the time is right. Signed, Over the hill, but still hopeful PS. I do not mind if you share, as Id love some advice. However, I do request that I remain anonymous. Thank you for all you do, your time and consideration. MY RESPONSE: You should not change who you are to appeal to a man because that would mean feeling uncomfortable indefinitely by putting on pretenses. Be comfortable in the way that you are; I know that I do that. You are a good catch for the right man. I would not jump the gun and tell this man that you want a relationship but I would ask him to do some things together. Ultimately your mate should also be your best friend so start with a friendship and see what happens. You think that he is all you want in a man but he may not be once you start to peel back the onion. Take the time to do that. Find some common interests and do some activities. The holidays is the perfect time to find interesting things to do, more so than the rest of the year. A lot of women are in your same boat. Believe that but do not give up on love. Also, if you are the type to go to work and come home, you are not going to meet any men that way. I am not suggesting club-hopping but doing things you enjoy or going to networking/social events locally. You may end up meeting a new female friend who leads you to your BOAZ. Dont make life dependent on a mate but consider a mate to be a life enhancer if it happens. Good luck.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 16:16:40 +0000
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