Growing up in a 1st generation Italian family my Mom insisted that all her kids go to Catholic school. I was the youngest of four with a huge age gap between me and one of my sisters. They went to Our Lady of Fatima in Fort Lee, NJ. By the time I got there they changed the name to Madonna School – like a virgin. I hated it! I hated the uniforms, the masses but mostly I was afraid of the nuns until I was like in 5th grade. 5th grade was my transformation from being scared to being a rebel. I hung out with the Brennen twins, two Irish girls in 7th grade. Apparently Maureen Brennen had these cherry bombs she got from her brother, we gathered at lunch to hatch da plan. We all raised our hands at 2pm and asked to be excused to the lavatory. Once we were all there we took kotex (the ones that had dem long pieces of like gauze on them) we picked up the toilet seats and tucked the kotex around the seat so it was like a board over the hole then we placed the cherry bombs on them, lite them and ran like thieves. We were back in the class before the explosion. We all heard this huge BOOM..... Then the loud speaker in the classroom starting its announcement. Sisters and teachers please file a single line and proceed outside. Also anyone that was absent from class send to the principals office. Oh Boy – There were 5 boys and 3 girls in the office. Being it was the girls room the boys got interrogated and then dismissed. Upon our interrogation with Sister Peter Conesious – yes you read it right. Sister Peter what-eva determined it was us. She then called our Moms. We were suspended for a week and when we returned we had to clean the convent after school. My Mom was pissed! However she blamed da Irish kids for most of it. In 6th grade I got Sister Mary Hue she was six feet tall and pissed all the time.. I had to brainy kids in my class and I will never forget their names: Renee Levisuer and Carolann Stalopie. Real Nun kissers! Every Monday Carolann would collect milk money and mission money. Oh I wanted to smack her. This one day were we working on math, fractions. I hated factions! I was so confused and kept telling the Sister that I did not understand it. So what does what does Sister 6 foot do – she calls me to the blackboard to solve the problem along with Renee and Carolann. The clacking of the chalk was maddening from them two. All of a sudden they both put the chalk down at the same time and sat down. There I was creating the formula for hydrogen! I had so many symbols and signs, I was sweating, my barrettes were sliding off my head. All of a sudden I hear, “where were you when the Lord was giving out brains”! I turn and say, “right behind you Sista!” That was not good.... She walked up and started bangin my head in the board. I thought it was sweat but my barrette was stuck in my head and it was blood.! Yikes. There I was back in da principal’s office!! There was Mom at the door. Ma was pissed. She said regardless of what happens you are not to hit my child. That day I was able to go home early. So here was the crown and glory that finally got me outta there. Ever since the beating of the head, Sista was pissed at me. I was not allowed to play in any reindeer games. It was Christmas time, we had a live tree in the class, it was all decorated and had candles, real ones on the tree. She announced she wanted a class picture but I was not allowed to be in it rather I was gonna take the photo. So she gave me this brownie camera, the kind you had to look down into. She then lights the candles and places the kids on the floor and she next to the tree. I kept walking back saying, back up more Sister, as she was HUGE- 6 feet- memba? For a split second my eyes saw the candle and her veil. I was like – Nahhhhhh. Then I said back a little more Sista and WHAM! Her veil went up like cotton candy!! She ran out the door and dunked her head in the water fountain. There I was waiting for da principal. She came in and said- you are a descendant of Satan. Yikes that was nasty! Then Mom showed up, she was really pissed at me. So here was the sentence. Mrs. Maisano we would prefer if you take your daughter to public school ASAP. OMG – Yessssss- finally ~~~ finamente......
Posted on: Mon, 07 Oct 2013 19:44:12 +0000
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