HOW GRANDPARENTS ARE PERCEIVED > > > > > > 1. She was > in the > > bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young > > granddaughter, as shed done many times before.After she applied her > > lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, But Grandma, you > > forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye! I will probably never put > > lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper > > good- bye.... > > > > > > 2. My young > grandson > > called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I > > was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then > > he asked, Did you start at 1? > > > > > > 3. After > putting her > > grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a > > droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the > > children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. > > Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their > > room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the > > room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, Who was > THAT? > > > > > > 4. A > grandmother was > > telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. We > > used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it > > hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild > > raspberries in the woods. > > The little > girl was > > wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, I sure wish Id > > gotten to know you sooner! > > > > > > 5. My > grandson was > > visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you know how you and God > > are alike? I mentally polished my halo and I said, No, how are we > > alike? Youre both old, he replied. > > > > > > 6. A little > girl was > > diligently pounding away on her grandfathers word processor. She told > > him she was writing a story. > > Whats it > about? he > > asked. > > I dont > know, she > > replied. I cant read. > > > > > > 7. I didnt > know if my > > granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I > > would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me > > and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, > > she headed for the door, saying, Grandma, I think you should try to > > figure out some of these colors yourself! > > > > > > 8. When my > grandson > > Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until > > we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few > > fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, > > Its no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with > > flashlights. > > > > > > 9. When my > grandson > > asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, Im not sure. Look in > > your underwear, Grandpa, he advised Mine says Im 4 to 6. > > > > > > 10.. A > second grader > > came home from school and said to her grandmother, Grandma, guess > > what? We learned how to make babies today. The grandmother, more than > > a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. Thats interesting. she > > said... How do you make babies? > > Its > simple, replied > > the girl. You just change y to i and add es. > > > > > > 11. > Childrens Logic: > > Give me a sentence about a public servant, said a teacher. The small > > boy wrote: The fireman came down the ladder pregnant. The teacher > > took the lad aside to correct him. Dont you know what pregnant > > means? she asked. > > Sure, said > the young > > boy confidently. It means carrying a child. > > > > > > 12. A > grandfather was > > delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck > > zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a > > Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dogs duties. > > They use > him to keep > > crowds back, said one child. > > No, said > another. > > Hes just for good luck.. > > A third > child brought > > the argument to a close.They use the dogs, she said firmly, to find > > the fire hydrants. > > > > > > 13. A > 6-year-old was > > asked where his grandma lived. Oh, he said, she lives at the > > airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when were > > done having her visit, we take her back to the airport. > > > > > > 14. Grandpa > is the > > smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I dont get to > > see him enough to get as smart as him! > > > > > > 15. My > Grandparents are > > funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their > > dog.
Posted on: Mon, 20 Jan 2014 01:40:09 +0000
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