Haunting Memories Copyright (c) Pierre Carles, 1989 Acrylic on canvas paper Currently visible at A/NT Gallery in Seattle, Washington State, USA (until the end of August 2014) Memories are at the core of what defines us as individuals. We build our very personality on them, through the experiences they allow us to look back upon, and grow from, too. Yet, just like experiences, not all memories are easy to cope with. And there are some that you would give anything to let go. I always tried my best to do the right thing in every situation. Everyone does, I assume. But the harsh reality of human imperfection too often comes in the way of our best intentions. And hardly do we ever meet the expectations we place in ourselves. I know I didnt. Every single moment in my life when I disappointed myself, is engraved in my memory like an infamous curse carved in stone, one that you cannot simply wash away and let go. For in those moments indeed, someone I love, or loved, got hurt. And the mere remembrance of the pain or sorrow that I inflicted upon these loved ones, sometimes through arrogance, sometimes through sheer ignorance, is haunting me back as if I had just done it moments ago. As if it was a stain on me that I could never wash away, a spot on my skin that always itches every time I remember it is here. I have started associating faces to these dark memories. Not the faces of real people, but more like the faces of my personal population of private, inner ghosts, who come back to haunt me whenever an excess of realism strips me of the self-delusion that I rely on to bear myself, from one day to the next. So, here are three of these inner ghosts, haunting memories of moments when I gazed too deep into myself, and did not like what I saw. Three is not a lot. I could certainly cover an entire wall with them, one for each time I did not do the right thing. One for each time I ended up hurting people to whom I wished only good. Too many people, too many times. But how many is enough, when they all come down to the same thing, in the end ?
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 02:09:14 +0000