Hey FB, its me Ryan with a rare status update. Those who know me or are friends with me here know I dont often post a status, particularly any sort of state-of-mind status but this morning is exceptional. I rarely have dreams when I sleep anymore and when I do theyre usually nightmares. Sometimes its the fun kind of scared where you wake with a start and everything you remember is nonsense and whimsy, you can shake it off and move along. But this morning met me with a sense of panic and dread which I just cant shake. I woke at 6:30a in a hot sweat, thrashing and turning, hyperventilating. It. Was. So. Real. It wasnt about dragons or zombies or spiders or anything that goes bump in the night. It was about finding someone I love destitute, broken and alone, full of hate and loathing. The emotions were so tangible, I could pick them up and carry them with me. I think it was so awful because its the closest shade of reality Ive ever dreamt about. It felt like a window to an imminent future. Before I started typing this I was still shaking, Im feeling a little better now. Ill be fine. I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks, FB.
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:40:12 +0000