Hi everyone, after a conversation with Keith and being friends with so many of you the LVAD community, I decided to write about my roll as a Lvad family member. So this is my reasoning for being here as I am not the one who has the LVAD Who I am not: I am not the Lvad patient, I am not a medication giver they do it all themselves I am not in painful agony every minute of everyday I am not fighting for my life I am not in need of a new heart I am not putting my life on hold to fight for life I am not missing out on the joys of everyday living I am not including myself in We got implanted on this date or We are doing this or trying that I am not a miracle worker I am not able to fix this and it kills me I am not a know it all for I know nothing except what I learn everyday and can not tell you why this works for some and not for others. I am not boastful or proud These are things I am: I am supportive I am caring I am Loving I am a good listener I am kind I am sarcastically witty Ian can make you laugh even if you dont want too. I am a realist and optimistic I am angry and sad this is happening to someone I love I am quietly standing in the background able to become part of the wallpaper as they poke and prod my loved one, ignoring the fact I am in the room.. yet ..... I am able to take you down in one fell swoop like a mother bear protecting her young if you mess with that said loved one. I am accommodating and frustrated I am a paper pusher, researcher, housekeeper, cook, pack mule, wish grantor, supply clerk, cab driver, personal assistant, nurse aid, Friend Sister, Mother, Child, Spouse. I am affected as you are every minute of everyday by the the health of my loved one, am I exhausted? Yes, so very much. Do I suffer guilt? Daily, why am I healthy and they are not? Why can I go through my daily activities and laugh and eat yummy food knowing that they are trying to loose weight, stuck in a hospital bed or watching their intake of vitamin k, fluids or sodium. Do I wish it would end? Yes, I do somedays because I am human, weak and selfish and we all think things we cannot say out loud. Does that mean I wish my loved one would just die already?? No No No Never!!! I love them and want them in Perfect Health and Happiness and live a long long life!! So this is why I am here, part of the LVAD community I will never say We are fighting for our lives because I am not we, I am me, and my loved one is the Fighter and I do not for a minute want to assume I know how that feels.. I did not choose this nor did they.. it chose me, but I will do my best to offer support and a shoulder to cry or lean on.. and continue to pray and hope for a happy ending for us all. May you be Blessed today and everyday.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 01:34:48 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015