Holiday Eating Advice (from a Pro who knows!) 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where theyre serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You cant find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? Its not as if youre going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. Its a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. Its later than you think. Its Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. Thats the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if theyre made with skim milk or whole milk. If its skim, pass. Why bother? Its like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other peoples food for free. Lots of it. Hello??? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Years.You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which youll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and dont budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. Theyre like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, youre never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each. Or, if you dont like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, its loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you dont feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you havent been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO-HOO what a ride! Merry Christmas!!
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 18:09:50 +0000
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