How do you know if someone truly loves you? You will feel that they love you if and when they stay by you through the storm and smile with you, still holding you in their arms after the storm has passed. If you have to sit there and wonder, what if I had said x or did z differently then they wouldn’t have fallen out of love with me, then it wasn’t real love. When it is just infatuation, lust, or desire, these feelings can not stand strong through time and with any slight disturbance they start to wither away and one is left with nothing. In a real love relationships when these elements start to wither away you are left with a friend and with respect, with someone who wants you by their side, and who will be by your side. Someone who just like you, sees the fire dying away and instead of turning away and starting a new fire somewhere else, they keep working on your fire, blowing on the little flame to make it bigger. They keep searching and finding little dried twigs to add to that fire just like you do. It takes two people to keep that fire going, if it is just one person doing all the work the fire will simply die away eventually. Remember lust and infatuation only last so long, don’t keep those rose colored glasses on simply because you do not want to admit that that’s all it was. Accept it as is, desiring someone to the point of surrender is great but that’s all it is, a surrender to a moment in time. Pick yourself up and find someone who will love you for you, beyond simple lust, beyond the overwhelming desire, someone who is a true friend, someone who gives you as much as you give to them. Don’t Waste Your Time Be Yourself - If you don’t want to waste your time with someone who may not be in love with you, just be yourself, don’t hold back. If you find that you are hesitating in doing so, that is your first red flag. You are better off finding out sooner rather than later if they are truly into you or just your physique. Have Your Own Interests/Hobbies - When you see that you are becoming obsessed, take a step back and get a better perspective. Don’t forget that you have a life too and it does not yet revolve around this person nor should your life ever revolve around someone else. You should always have a dose of independence (a healthy dose is for you to figure out). If you make your life about someone else, eventually you will begin to be resentful, because the other person, no matter how much they may love you can not make everything about you. Be Confident/Independent - Expanding a bit on the above point, if you have your interests you will be more confident and naturally come off as independent. No one likes a super needy person. When people see that they have to work a bit for your attention, they appreciate it more. And if in the end, things don’t work out it won’t feel like the end of the world, because there are other elements of your life that keep you busy and make you feel important and valuable. Don’t Be Confused - If you have any confusion whatsoever about how a person feels about you, then they are not serious about you. When someone is serious they leave you with no doubts. Don’t Listen, Observe Instead - Anyone can promise anything, it’s the action behind the promises that speaks to the person’s character. Actions without words are confusing (see previous point) and words without action are just words. Make sure there is a balance between the two. Don’t confuse infatuation with love. I know it is really easy to do but if you see red flags, don’t ignore them. It will only make the end that much more difficult. See things for what they are. If you want fun, enjoy fun, but if you want deepness and meaning don’t make excuses for anything less. ~via tumblr
Posted on: Mon, 22 Jul 2013 11:37:42 +0000
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