How much can one soul withstand… Part 17 Of 22 My life in the short form telling… hold tight… it gets bumpy! We have been in our home for 3 years now… I have another grandson (a different daddy than the other one has). Life is still wobbly but we are still here, still together, and still learning how to reach beyond the fear. My oldest grandson has started to demand more time with this grandma and I’m lovin’ life in that segment of my life. 2 years separates the age of my son and grandson (remember they are uncle and nephew in technical terms) and they get along like brothers. They argue and if I separate them they get mad at me and look at me like… “What’s the problem, why are you so mean, we are just playing… “ The little things in the way a child’s mind works is interesting to say the least. My step daughter seems to have settled (even though looks can be deceiving) and seems happy with life in general and the family she has created. My husband has been driving for mom and pop individuals that only have one truck. Taxes are our responsibility to take care of which sucks! The man he is driving for now is a person with no clue on how the trucking industry works; he just has too much money and plays at things that earns other people’s lively hood. I have told my husband repeatedly over the years that under no circumstance will we ever buy our own truck again… NEVER! Not after the nightmare that we lived through. I basically drew a line and said that not even God can cross it. In my fear I made us live in a box that did not allow God to work in our lives or allow us to grow. I set the standard when it should be God that does that and we were stagnating. Depression hovered over us both and the darkness was closing in again. We were coming up on another cliff and we were gonna fall off of it. This is where I learned live by fear… drown by fear; live by faith… fly! My husband is the type of fix it person that to save time and money he will fix the truck he is driving when it breaks if he has the tools and the knowledge. Picture this… 4 AM and pitch dark on a highway that come morning will be congested with all kinds of traffic; at the bottom of a mountain just starting its rise up into the sky. The truck stops dead in the middle of the road; my husband sets out the flares and crawls on, in, and UNDER that truck to fix the problem so that he can deliver his load and the owner won’t have to pay a tow bill. What he did was risk his life! If another truck would have come along and hit his truck while he was under it… I don’t even want to think about it! He fixed it and delivered his load… but not so much as one thank you did he receive! In fact what he did get was screwed! One week later he gets an overweight ticket because the owner decided to weld the fifth wheel in place so that my husband couldn’t shift the load to redistribute the weight. When we tried to give the ticket to the owner… he said you are responsible to pay this not me! No, no, no , no , no! Last straw for me! My husband is risking life and limb and this is what we get… I don’t think so! I call an angel to intercede! My aunt is the most generous and loving person I know. I put before her the situation and she comes through with a dream! She loans me the money I need to start a dream and we take a leap of faith and risk being tested by fire once again… January has arrived and with money in hand we go in search of our future. Just a little warning for those on the edge of a new way of life… slow down and look before you leap or you could miss judge the jump and fall! We buy the first truck we see, one that needs work and has been sitting still for 5 years. The money goes fast and the work goes slow. Come to find out that this truck needs more work than we could possibly know. My husband does it all with just a couple of faithful friends while I research and legalize this monster in my driveway. I have my mom and sister come out and as a family we walk around this truck posting angels and praying. That’s what holds this thing together… duct tape and prayers… what a strong combination! (time will show you just how strong!) The time has come to put it to work for the money is just about gone. The panic sets on me and steals my breath away! We decide he will run local until we are sure he won’t break down and I send him off to work with tears and prayers. He calls me and says there is a problem… he has no power. The truck moves but has no get up and go. So he takes it to a garage to have them use the computer to see what is wrong and still they give guess work just like a doctor. “Well it could be this or it could be that… let’s fix this and then we will see… “ Man… I’m not made of money and I don’t know anyone that is… Where do people get off trying to do things like that?! If you don’t know what is wrong just say so! Well it takes 2 weeks… and the money is gone, my depression is in full swing and it doesn’t take much to bring me to my knees. It seems our truck was made in the one year where dumb smart people thought having a motor and transmission half manual and half computer would be a good thing to do! To fix it would cost more than we paid for the truck! Only option is to change it over to manual only. Time and couple thousand dollars that we now must borrow… My faith is weak and my heart is low… fear is a constant thing. Murphy law rules in this time in our lives. Whatever can … usually will. We manage and get that monster back on the road just to have the motor blow! We are in too far now to walk away and struggle to figure this out. I am a basket case and start to gather boxes for everything to go back into storage. My faith is not there, and I live in a dark place. My husband is the stubborn one with the faith of a warrior! He borrows more money and wheels and deals with a couple of buddies. 2 weeks and a couple of cases of beer and my truck is ready to try again. You should be aware that in this time period of fixing this truck, my husband blows the motor in our pick up and touches his pinky to the refrigerator door and kills the compressor in my freezer. It’s like a freakin’ comedy act around here! You ever heard the saying “my blood turned to ice water in my veins”? This is where I learned that really can happen and it is a sick feeling to have! 80 miles down the road on its first voyage after the motor rebuild and the motor blows again! A faulty piston! And because a “certified” mechanic didn’t install it… no warranty was honored. So we proceed to repeat the last two weeks and get further into debt and all we can do is either laugh or cry… which do you think we did?! We laughed until we cried and then cried until we laughed. Life becomes a parody… “Punch and Judy” style. The hits come so fast and so often that it just gets so freakin’ funny!... Welcome to my world…this is where “laugh til you pee!” was born… To be continued…
Posted on: Sat, 15 Jun 2013 23:00:00 +0000
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