I HAD A GREAT DAY . . . of joys and memories - old and new I tasted life yesterday - as much, as well, as good as ever it could be. I ate. I slept. I was safe. I was well. I was alive. I got stuck. I got towed. I walked my dog. I talked with my dad. I talked to dear friends. I spent time with family. I went on a short road trip. I mourned loss of my friend. I had a visit and meal with an old friend. I held a 1-day old child - I held the child of my child and found that Alex is magnificent in every way a soft tiny eating, sleeping, peeing and pooping machine can be - and he held us all spellbound with his magic. I felt love yesterday - giving and getting. I felt magic of lifes bookends, lifes DASH, lifes best-before dates, lifes magic, lifes fragility, lifes short-fuse, lifes endless capacity to amaze and engage us in emotional education. So lucky that I can do all these things. Are we good, are we whole, are we living - thriving as we could, as we should - or do we hold back, shrink from our own place in the universe because of some reasons of feeling not deserving? Dreaming to have what others have, or where theyve been, envying green grass growing on the unreachable side of fences - poaching every clichéd version of idyllic. Grasping value from life - drinking from that goodness cup, nourished by feasting on bounty - everyones wish I suppose, to sit back in a comfy chair at the end of a journeyed day and say, ah, the good life! So much to see, to do, to experience. I likely wont climb Kilimanjaro. But Ive known people who did. I likely wont visit the Galapagos but Ive met people whove been. Sites, events and experiences are fabulous for sharing - we can learn about so many of them without having visited there. And, when we have, we get to be teacher, telling others about our experience, what was important about it, what it meant to us. My day yesterday was awesome and tearful, relaxed - not fearful. Not to say I dont have concerns of any mid-life male who hasnt taken best of care - that having a friend die so horribly, so young, so incomplete in his own view of doing important things he desired to do. Looking back, I think he did the important things and left many of the desired untried items to waste away on his to-do list, they are dead things now on his bucket-list. Im not sure I like the bucket-list notion of filling out the rest of my life.
Posted on: Wed, 29 Jan 2014 10:42:01 +0000
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