I Love ER Triage. I think that is the best job in the ER setting (and most challenging). These are a collection of handwritten patient complaints that made me scratch my head but also made me laugh! Have fun reading! 1. pein in ryth index finger I can go forward cent go backwards - (at least he got the apostrophe correct) 2. tampon inside 2-3 weeks - (Poor tampon...tsk tsk tsk) 3. smached finger in car door - (lesson learned: dont smach the car door) 4. seveir pain in kidneys urinating blood - (I am in seveir pain just reading this crap) 5. left arm peyn - (reading this is peynful!) 6. new monya - (get it? say it out loud...) 7. my bales hertin - (can you figure this one out? LOL) 8. chest pants - (leg t-shirt? LOL) 9. swan flu - (this was the time swine flu was around...and also duck flu LOL) 10. repeatedly head and mindgrands , pooped a ovary - (I am hoping that she really did not just pooped an ovary because that will be baaaaad!) 11. she has mental diarrhea - (and I am emotionally constipated) 12. homicidal, want to kill mother - (I literally ran out of the triage room and called security - he showed me 2 unloaded gun) 12. I had the shits - (my bales were hertin from laughing when I read this - before seeing the patient of course) 13. lac left tumb - (another one of those spelling errors) 14. toalse hurt cannot sallow - (I almost thought this was a typo but this is a handwritten complaint!) 15. just had seasure - (that is the big one, she had a lakesure before that - get it? LOL) 16. my tooth broke - (Can I have Dilaudid? GO TO THE DENTIST!) 17. need drug rehab - homeless - (you need a job and possibly a working brain) 18. back, wrist pain, leg weekeness - (it occurs weekly...LOL) 19. got a loaded gun slammed in stomach - (and you did not get shot? Amazing!) 20. got hit by a car - (How are you still writing this!?) 21. ingrown nail - (it is not infected and I could literally cut it with a nail cutter) (GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ER and go the nail salon...its cheaper) 22. staff infection - (I swear, he did not get it from the ER nurses) 23. dehydrated fever - (I just dont get it...maybe drink more fluids so you can come back with a rehydrated version of your fever?) 24. my knee is hertin - (I live here, how else can I explain this :P) 25. wet like im peeing etc - (ieeeew!) 26. rt plural effusion - (she thinks its plural when it is really singular - correct spelling is PLEURAL - LOL) 27. pain in belly right side, internet says it is pancreatic cancer - (I cant spell - Dr. House says I am an idiot and it is NOT lupus) 28. wants pregnancy test - (If your belly sticks out a bit more than after you eat a ton of food, then most likely you are pregnant - GO TO DOLLAR STORE AND GET A $1 Home pregnancy test!) 29. stomack pain for 6 years - (and you are here today of all days? WHY NOT 6 YEARS AGO? Why not yesterday when I was off?) 30. ive got boil on my privy area - (probably some sauté and fry too) 31.I see dead people, hearing things etc - (Find Bruce Willis, Quick! Its the Sixth Sense!) 32. my foot is hurting radiating to my chest - (From foot to chest...hmmm...we need to refer you to Dr. House. You might need a drug rehab) 33. out of pain meds - (Your own pain doc wont give you any, why should we? I suggest Narcotics Anonymous? 34. my balls are hurting, also penis - (not kidding!)
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 21:43:32 +0000
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