I agree with most of this video. However, I think its important to expand on the potential feelings a birthday can bring. First - I will tell anyone that asks that we do incredibly low key birthdays in my house. However, that does not mean that the day isnt a special one. It means that I dont have to provide a lot of THINGS to make the day special. My kids...foster or forever...get to pick their meals all day long. They receive gifts that are picked out with their needs and wants in mind (more wants than needs whenever possible). Dessert is a decorated cake made by yours truly if thats the dessert they want. (Two of my children prefer cheesecake that I do not decorate.) And last, we sing Happy Birthday many, many times and remind the child how special they are all day long. But that whole expanding on the feelings part.... Birthdays are often sad for foster and/or adopted kids because of so much more than just never having been given a party or getting a lot of gifts. Your birthday connects you to your family. After all, it celebrates the day you born IN to your family. For a child that is no longer with their biological/first/natural/whatever family...a birthday can be a painful reminder of that loss. So yes, make the birthday special! Please. Acknowledge the day!! Parties, gifts and celebrations are a good thing!! But know always that this child in your life might struggle for very profound reasons too. Dont gloss over that. Remember, their birthday isnt about you and your happiness. They might need to be sad some on their birthday and thats OK too.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 14:04:34 +0000
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