I arise with a twinkle in my eye. What does this day hold in store for me, what shall I create today. My mind lately has been on a overdosed circuit of energy, alive and buzzing. Anxious of the new year. So many roads that lead me back home, to the arms of a man I have loved so fiercely that it felt like death to be away from him. We are like two opposites. My chaos and dreamy state of being. His structure and straight lines always seem to help make my reality fit. I am a cloud that seems to always be drifting away, He is the wind that always blows me towards home. You see without him my mortality would crumble, fumble, and fade away. He finds a way to build me, hold my broken hands, and keep me from the dark. No partnership is ever perfect, who would want one that is. I need the heat of a argument to feel what it is like to give in, to forgive, to be forgiven. I need the warmth of his arms when my world is at my feet and I feel as if I might jump. He pulls me back from the edge with his gaze and asks me to stay. See when he gets overwhelmed, I know, this is the time I take his hand and tell him the words he needs me to say. I let him vent, I let him rage because his days of trying to become something has worn him down. His only way to cope is to release the beast on me. I have a way with that beast. I can tame it on most days, others I need to let it pace, and then let him feed on me. That is way it works for us. Ying and Yang, this year was a challenge for us. I left him, sold our home, took our kids out into the great unknown. Bought a new dwelling 10 hours away, gave away material things, and found that without him, I am not me, I am not complete. See in my time away, it wasnt that I left him, it was to see if I could do it, on my own, far from home, could I conquer the world alone? I did. But in my travels I finally got to the core of me. I realized the things that he did for me, and the kids. See he has the patience and touch my children need, I cannot give. He shows them something that lacks inside of me. He is a nurturer. He helps grows these seeds. He is a part of me. I never thought I would need a man to complete me, but its not a man, it the other completion of me. Cant you see? Without his stability I would not be all of me, I would have flew away a long time ago, to much inside of this head to ever come be able to mutter a word again. Its comprise and solutions that him and I find in this crazy world of infinite possibilities. We always seem to find our way back from the other side. Everyday is a new adventure of learning and loving. Me always trying to make him see, and him teaching me.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 10:29:33 +0000
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