I decided to not to let my fear of what other people think is right stop me from sharing a message of hope. Repost. I am going to share something personal. Im afraid because I still care too much about what other people will say. Still I feel, in spite of those who think its a bad idea, the hope that everything happens for a reason and the fact that it may help someone else is enough for me to go on and share. I Feel extremely vulnerable at this point, so please be nice & understand that I am sharing this because I want to spread hope to those who need it. Despite my anxiety. So in light of ADHD month, I want to tell you a story. A personal one. For 25 years, since I was a young child, I have battled extreme depression and anxiety attacks. Something that runs in my family. I was extremely self critical, felt a sense of guilt, shame and disapproval all of the time. I felt like I could never measure up. These feelings left me without hope, feeling like a loser at life. I did not understand why I could not be normal, no matter how hard I tried. And while I would never hurt anyone... I battled thoughts of suicide as the feeling that my kids deserved a better mother, and my husband deserved a better wife consumed me. Eventually I became too worn and ended up with a plan to end it all. Before I did that, I decided to take my son to the doctor as he had struggled greatly in school and at home (something else I blamed myself for), and discipline just wasnt working. He was now in the 6th grade and we had been consistently battling it since daycare days. He was diagnosed with ADHD. I cringed because I had a feeling they would diagnose him that way. I did not believe that ADD was a real thing and was mostly a diagnoses given to children who lacked discipline. However, given the fact that I knew, without a doubt, that the harshest of discipline was only making things worse I decided to learn as much about ADHD as I could. I found that it was not at all what I had learned from un-informed people. As I learned I began to identify with many things I read. I began to feel a sense of hope for my own situation as the treatment made all the difference for my son. He was a different person. He actually came to me one day, thanked me, and told me that for the first time in his life he felt like himself. He loved school now, behavior had improved drastically and he was happy. I decided to get help for myself. @ 31 years old was recently diagnosed with ADHD, severe depression and anxiety with panic attacks. I was told that the depression and anxiety had been a result of the ADHD being untreated for so long. I had developed very low self esteem. However, I am now in therapy and am filled with hope of reclaiming my life. Is ADHD a real thing? It is to my son & me. we do not view it as an excuse, but a place to understand the whys & start working on the things we need to work on. You cannot fix a car without first understanding what is wrong with it through diagnosis. My hope in sharing this is that A) people will not be so quick to jump to conclusions, & B) that if there is someone out there struggling, you will get help. I wont promise you that its not a frustrating or scary process. It is crazy scary to step out there and ask for help. Not to mention how busy doctors are and how long it takes. But youve been so strong for this long.... And the process to getting help wont take as long as youve been going through this. God did not design us to go it alone. And He has made sure that we cant, it wasnt His good plan for us. Please dont try to do that. You will fail. Talk to someone. Get some help. And let someone else receive Gods blessing for helping you. Or pay them a large amount of money....Whatever works for you. ;) This may only stay up for a few minutes, because I am scared. I pray that in that time, the people who NEED to see it will see it. There is hope and help for you. Dont give up.
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 14:09:43 +0000