I do enjoy seeing people suffer at times. Im prepared to be criticized for this but, there is a part of me that smiles when people I dont care about are in agony and I am not. I sometimes feel like watching a car crash just because. I have no shame in admitting I am twisted mentally. This is why I write. I have a gift for story telling. Instead of becoming some maniacal manslayer, I split my mind into hundreds of various people. Various names. Life stories. I decided the only way I can stay stable is to divide my mind into parts and cut them off from the main body. This way they live their own lives but lack a body. My manners, vocabulary, clothing, thoughts, they all change based on the dominant presence. However. To fully learn all of them you have to physically be near me for years. Unless your tied to my mind from within I doubt youll even notice a change. As of now....roughly....five of you notice the differences and Im impressed. But this vengeful soul is no fabrication. That is the child in me I killed off. Had I matured in that mindset.....Id have died by 12 like I thought I would. I knew by that age my mind would reach a stage of maturity where these fits of rage could be rationally planned into acts of vengeance. I was no longer a temperamental ranting child. I was a rational thoughtful preteen. Even my mother knew if I so much as acted on impulse Id end up dead either for assisting someone out of anger or for going insane and killing because I was hurt. So I did the only thing I could. Cut myself off from everyone. I forced myself to be alone. Understand....if I walk away Im trying to protect you all. Im dangerous....yet none of you care. ...why? Why love a monster? I dont understand....
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 11:28:43 +0000
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