I have no excuses im more mentally fatigued then anything and deserve more from myself. Ive been dealing with suicide and depression for awhile now which dates back to 3 years ago.. Ive been a complete failure at life to say the least. Horrible boyfriend, father, friend, son, brother, Ive hidden my true self from people because I thought I was doing myself a favor... Ive come to realize everything that has happened to me is my own doing and I have the choice to decide the outcome of my life. Yesterday night I was afraid of my own safety and that was a normal afternoon for me many wouldnt know or even have seen the hints. On a daily basis Id cover up and pretend to be someone else Im not. Facebook for me was me being able to be the person I WANTED YOU to see and not the person I wanted to be. Im currently in a treatment program for split personalities, deep depression and anxiety have I failed yes can I get back up you bet your ass I will... So with this being said I WILL NO LONGER smoke weed... If ur anyone who claims to be my friend you will not allow me to or pressure me into it. This goes for booze to I need a break I NEED to get my life back. I was so outgoing before now I just hate people...for three years my life has had the same pattern with the same outcomes over and over and over. Im NOT going to lose or hurt anymore people in my life.. Ive became an asshole Ive became a fake person Ive became everything Ive NEVER wanted to be all because of selfish choices Ive made!!! Theres nobody Ive hurt more then myself and Im sick and tired of it... Fed up... Pissed off... I just want to be the best I can be and the first step is admitting and telling the truth so here it is written out for you. Im lazy, I dont have a car , I cant drive, I dont have a job, I dont provide for my son, I step on everyone unknowingly, I have taken advantage of many people including people who are just trying to help, Ive been a floater since highschool and never was responsible for myself. Some can blame people like my parents or the people I grew up with and thats bullshit Ive gotten everything Ive deserved good or bad mostly bad Im done punishing others for my mistakes and letting those around me suffer. So please if you want to be any part of my life I only want those who truly want whats best for me. Im broken but the pieces still fit... The last thing I want is a pitty party this is just my version of a public service announcement. Please feel free to unfriend me ask questions etc.... Im 100% committed to making myself better so EVERYONE can have the best version of me. I want to apologize to anyone that Ive hurt feel free to DM me.... I just want to love my life and be at peace and it starts with ME. Thank you!
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 22:22:38 +0000
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