I have said it before I will say it again. No one can make anyone do something they dont decide to do or want to do for themselves. You cant make someone see things your way or listen/learn something they are not open to. The #1 and 2 questions we get are how do I get my vet to see he needs help and how do I get our family to listen and/or understand about PTSD. If they themselves arent willing to listen or get defensive when talking about it and it turns into a screaming match no one wins and they probably are going to be more on guard everytime you bring it up. The only person you can control is yourself and your reaction to things. I am speaking from experience on these things. Shawn at first was desperate to save our marriage our family and me. All she did was push me further away but yet accused me of pushing her away. It wasnt until she completely altered her approach we got anything done. she stopped screaming at me, she stopped trying to convince me she just wanted to help me and she stopped trying to make me see what I was doing to her with tears and begging. Shawn started focusing on her and took responsibility for her own emotions and reactions. She didnt rub it in my face going this is what you should be doing. When the time came and Shawn had enough she gave me a choice help or Im leaving. Not an idle threat as her bags were already packed and the kids had been moved out but a very matter of fact choice for me. She didnt care which I decided she would have respected either decision. When I told her I woild go to prove she was crazy she didnt get defensive she jumped at it and said lets go. See she didnt care whose fault it was and wasnt interested in being right or winning. Her focus was our marriage and what was best for WE. And through her actions, not her words or demands, I started to learn how to manage my PTSD and take responsibility for myself and my actions and choices.-Justin
Posted on: Sun, 15 Jun 2014 02:30:42 +0000
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