I have stumbled across a disturbing truth, which I thought I should share with you all immediately, for your own protection. Fact 1: I went on a date last night, and the girl kissed me. A clear sign she was under some malevolent outside control. Its the only rational explanation. Fact 2: Women are well known carriers of the Lurgy. This is where it gets disturbing. The Lurgy isnt (as I had previously thought) a germ, microbe, bacteria or virus. It isnt even a fungus (though women are riddled with those). Its an evil spirit, transmitted through bodily contact. So far, the spirit which I believe has entered me has manifested as a slight stiffness. No, not there, sicko; just below my right shoulder blade. Now, the cynics and disbelievers amongst you will be saying A-ha! You just slept on it funny. Well pah I say, and fie to you all. It was like that before I went to sleep! Conclusive PROOF of the paranormal nature of this phenomenon! Whether this spirit can only be transmitted via mouth-to-mouth, whether it leaves its host or splits into two, multiplying to spread the corruption of pure souls, and whether this has anything to do with dread Mango, I cannot yet say. But rest assured, I will investigate further. In the name of science, of course.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 12:16:40 +0000
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