I just submitted this to The Grief Toolbox and wanted to share it with each of you as well, in case it doesnt post there.. I know the Holidays are coming...♥ When a loved one passes.. We tend to think of them as Lost…. We make the fact that we “Lost” them our focus…. We talk about spending our Days “Without” them…. We say that they “Won’t be with us in the Holiday Season” ….. “We will Never Spend another Birthday with them”….. “Living is so hard to do when they are gone” My Question is…. WHY???????????? In asking WHY…. I mean this……. Why do we spend our Focus on the loss? Why do we focus on Holidays without them? Why do we spend their Birthdays without them? Why do we Allow them to feel Gone for even one Moment???? When a Loved Ones Passes, think of New ways to INCLUDE them in Everything that you do…. Is their Passing the reason that you Love them so Much? Is that day that they went to Heaven, the day that filled you full of your Fondest and Most Loving Memories of them? NO…… So, Why is that our Focus?? Today, I hope to give you some tools to help you to learn to Live With your Loved Ones each and every day… I have had Mothers Message me and say, I lost my Baby at Birth and don’t have any life Memories of them…. I say, Oh, Yes, you truly do… Your Life memories of the Moment you found that you are carrying them… The moment you shared with your family that you are pregnant… The First Kicks, Hiccups, Flips………… Depending on how progressed your Pregnancy became…. There is a Reason that you LOVE THEM SO MUCH… It is Because of the Life Experience you shared with them… No matter how long or short… No one can take it from you.. The Holidays are Coming and I don’t want Any of you to Spend One More Holiday without your Loved Ones in Heaven…. I want you to find Traditions to include them…. Here are a few suggestions……… Ask your Family Members to write down their favorite Memories of your Loved ones that have passed… Talk to their Friends… Reach out to anyone that may be able to tell you even the smallest Story…. Have them all write them down and give them to you… DON’T READ THEM YET…. Now, Slip them all in a JAR… We will call it THE HOLIDAY JAR…… Decorate the Jar… put their Picture on it.. Make it Beautiful… Each Holiday, I want you to Pull a Memory or Story from that Jar and read it Out Loud with the family around… If there are many stories, then by all means, let each family member pull a memory from the jar and read it.. You can do this at Birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays….. Anytime you want really Make new traditions to include them at the Holidays.. Hang a New Ornament on your Tree each and every year that reminds you of them.. Take a Sharpie and write their Name and the Year on it and Each Year, add another Ornament Make their Favorite Food Dishes throughout the year and have a Second Plate full in Honor of them Find a Piece of Jewelry that reminds you of them and wear it in honor of them Take a trinket of theirs that you own on every adventure you take in life Tattoos arent for everyone, but, if they are, get a memorial tattoo in honor of them Light a Candle in their Honor Do a Balloon Release in their Honor and write messages to them on the balloons… I could go on and on with Ideas… But, the biggest Lesson that I want you to take from this is to Please… STOP LIVING WITHOUT THEM… I want you to take each thought of their passing, and replace it with a Memory of how they Lived…. I want you to take each ounce of Guilt, and replace it with the Pure and Unconditional Love that you have for them… Why carry Guilt? It isn’t Serving them to see you carrying guilt with their Passing? The Guilt certainly isn’t serving you either… If you think for one moment, that as your Loved Ones look over you from Heaven, that they want to see you sad and guilt ridden… I can assure you, that you need to refocus… When someone passes from this world, there is not a Moment that their Spirit is Gone, Lost, Sad, Hurt, or any other negative word that we could possibly insert into that equation…… They Move to a Place of Pure and Unconditional Love in Heaven when they Graduate from this thing we call Life… They Grow from their Earthly Lessons… They feel how each and every moment spent with you in this lifetime felt.. Weather that is Good, Bad, or Indifferent….. These are their lessons… This is how they Spiritually Grow… It is the Next Part of their Journey with God… Some Graduate Early from Life and some spend more time here than others.. It is Truly a Contract we have written with God……….. Please change your Focus…. Please Focus on allowing them to live through you…. Focus on Honoring them in all that you do… As you focus on the Loss, you are possibly Missing out on the Loved Ones around you that Truly Need you in their Life still…. Your Loved ones in Heaven don’t want to see you stop living because of them…. They are cheering you on in your Journey until the day comes that you Graduate to Heaven to be at their side… In the Mean time, They live through you… Are you Proud of all they are experiencing??
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 23:25:21 +0000
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