I know FB is public but all what Im about to say doesnt hurt me for everyone to see, its just how I feel. Let me start off by saying Im not perfect, but nobody is except our lord Jesus Christ. And this post pertains to anyone close friend or not that has felt how Ive been and have felt anything negative caused by me. I know that I lie A LOT to everyone but sadly even to the people that matter the most to me close friends as well smh... And when I get caught or anything I tend to blame other people and other things when hell Im 22 years old, and I should be taking responsibility of my actions no matter what. I tend to judge easy when in no way am I one to judge anybody on this earth. Shit Im one of the biggest hypocrites around and Ill admit that to everybody who reads this... I know Im still young and I will have plenty of mistakes and miscues along the way in my future, but still today it hit me just all at once and Im going to be honest I am not happy with the person that Ive become. Cause how I have been is justnot me at all, all of yall would be surprised that when I was younger I was just always a go happy kid who my mom told me I was the best kid around back then. She even told me that she could see this horrible change in me that just wasnt healthy and it scared her honestly... And earlier when all of this hit me I just thought about my great grandma who is no longer here and just imagining her talking to me. She said Edward I have seen this sudden change in you and that you have lost track and is this the man you wanna be the rest of your life? and is this the person that you want people to remember you by when your gone? That last question hit me the hardest cause in no way is the way I am now the way I want everyone to remember me when Im dead and long gone... I rather fix the way I am now then never change and then it be far too late. Like I said Im sorry to anybody who how I have been lately affect, and sorry for the long post just had to get this off my chest...
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 02:42:45 +0000
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