I laid down to take a disco nap, and had a dream that I was in Austin and inadvertently walking by a show∙|∙benefit∙|∙BBQ in honor of a friend whod recently passed (in real life) .. I saw a lot of people I recognized, and furtively walked inside to ask the hostess (another close friend, whom I love like a sister) what was going on, and why I wasnt invited? She (clearly, very intoxicated) started talking about her impending *shoulder surgery*, and how I obviously didnt care because Id acted so despicably while inebriated at (yet another) recent soirée, etc. When I insisted that Id been living in Tucson for almost three months and that she MUST be mistaken, that *it couldntve been me*, she just wandered away. A woman I dont know but who was obviously a lesbian (to me, cuz this is a dream after all) came back in her stead, and began to chastise me —VERY Soundly—! In fact, it was obvious that she intended *to take no prisoners*. I tried over and over to explain that *this couldnt be me*, no way, no possibility .. but to no avail. Finally, I lost my patience and mentioned my friend .. then launched into a description of the deep grief Ive been feeling, the loneliness and confusion, the ever-increasing anger for being wrongly blamed and ostracized during this tragic time .. and, incidentally, from the hostess wedding last year. Suddenly her whole body-language changed, her visage melted like a window-pane doused in rain, and her hair started melting into tiny, little pools of chocolate tears. She looked me straight in the eye, and said: NOW, I approve, and began to cry. I woke-up sobbing so strenuously that both studio cats went flying-up their kitty-tree, looking at me as if I were a deranged and strange. Funny, cuz sometimes I feel JUST LIKE that.
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 22:18:48 +0000