I m pooja. My husband always forced me to bring money or other things from my parents and they had no option except agreeing to his demand. after our marriage first thing he asked to bring Rs 7000 cash to pay electricity bill as electricity was disconnected due to non payment of bill and he promissed me and my papa that he will return it. after 4 months of marriage he forced me to sale my gold given by him so that he could return his office loan. i did it. After that he demanded lots of things like bike, AC, computer, LCD tv etc.. and he always said “dont tell your parents that i m demanding this from you. this is your headache how you will convince them. If you will take my name i will go to my parents and you know they already want me to give you divorce”. He was emotionally blackmailing me. some times he says “prove me that you love me by giving me all things. May be then we will live happy”. I did all the thingsto make my married life happy but nothing changed. Even my delivery expenses has been paid by my papa. Last year again he forced me to bring money 1-2 lack so that he could start a business salary se kab tak guzara chalega?? but i refused. He forced me twice and thrice but i refused. I hide it from my parents because i dont want them to be sad due to me any more. But i had informed his parents and his sisters and thier husbands that he is forcing me to bring money for business. but they took it very easily. i said i m not stopping him to do business but please do it with your own money or income. i put an option give me one year i will save as much as money from your salary and will give it to you. he refused. then again he started new demand for doing MBA. daily saying to me ” i want to do MBA. If i will complete MBA then my salary will get 20% increased. our company has this rule… so on.” i refused. then again i said “if you want to do it then do it with your own. i m tired of giving you my parents savings. now they have nothing with them. My papa is taking retirement so stop this. please take care of me and our son by your own. from now onwards i will not ask my parents for money”. In Jan 2012, my grand parents wanted to distribute their property among my papa n my chacha. According to that my papa will get one floor and another floor would be given to my chachaji. Now again he had a mind to be shifted there, as we were living in the rented house and every year my parents give us Rs 25000 approx. to shift the house. My parents agreed to him only on one condition that my grand parents will live on same floor with us. We agreed but after shifting there he again started fighting and shouting on me and created fights with me and my grand parents so that my parents will take them to another house where my parents are living. but i said i will not allow this is my grand parents home they have full right on this house i will not let them go. that day we left that house but i was not aware of his plans. he wanted that floor to be on my name. after leaving my grand parents, he took all my gold and wanted to sell it to shift himachal to his parents house. as we have 0 account balance i agreed to sell only one gold bangle. he immediately informed his mother “pooja ke paas paise hein. ab yeh batao ki uppar wala floor banane ke liye paise kitne lagenge.” i heard it unknowingly. i was worried about me and gattu(my son) . he convinced me that he loves me he will be there with me. but still i was worried. in the last, my brother stopped me from shifting to himachal. because he was also worried for the same reason. “ki agar unhone gold bech kar paise saare le liye phir pooja aur gattu ko kahin woh log kuch kar na dein”. my parents and my brother gave warning to him if something happen to my daughter n gattu we will not spare you all. From then we were staying in my parents house. Mean while he got promotion and his attitude towards me changed a lot. Earlier he was first emotionally blackmailed me if that doesnt work then he shouted at me. But after his promotion(ony one month before) i was no were. He stopped talking to me. he stopped picking up my phone after office. He stopped giving time to our son. I thought there is something wrong with his new attitude. Last month on 12 Dec 2012, i caught him red handed with another girl saying “i love u i want to marry you” and that girl is with him for his position. When I asked her “when he proposed you what have you said?”. She said “ I told him first try to sort out with your wife and if thing will still wrong then I m ready for you”. She dont care if my husband give me divorce or get separated from me and my son. Everyone is saying and today me too, is accepting this that he married me just because of money. When me and my parents were agreed to his decisions he was there with me but now when he got promotion and has good post in MNC company he left me and my son. He demanding divorce from me and trying to convince me to give him mutual divorce and first step should be mine so that he get free from alimony and other expenses. In-front of all my family and his own family he is saying i love pooja but i cant live with her. that girl came into my life because she was not sharing nights with me, she is not allowing me touch her” When i said “i m ready to give my medical test that i did every thing to make u happy how can you say this from that day he changed his statements. now he is saying ” pooja mujhe khana bana kar nahi deti thi, pooja bahut aggressive nature ki hai, mujhe mere parents se cut off karwa diya hai, mujhe unse baat nahi karne deti and so on…” but truth is i really dont like his mother and sister because once they tried to kill me and my son and i wanted to be away from them. But i never said him to leave them. Today one month is over, he has not given money to me for this living. Me and my son is now living with my parents. All our expenses is bared by my parents. He is running from his responsibilities. My son admission is to be done for LKG class and he is not willing to give money for that. I asked him “when are you planning to send him school?” he said ” agar 5 saal tak mere paas savings nahi huyi toh 5 saal tak bhi isko main school nahi bhejoonga”. MY QUESTION IS What procedure i should follow to file a case against him?? which case i should file dowry ? or cheating? or extra marital affair? or both? because i have his recordings where he is saying he loves that girl and he want divorce from me, his facebook love messages given to her and also i have all dowry proof’s as well. We tried our best to do patch up with him his family is supporting him and always supported him in his all wrongs. they are blaming me for his extra marital affair saying this “ki aurat mein kami hoti hai tabhi toh aadmi bahar jata hai”. please anyone suggest me the right way to follow… Reply THE 50 MILLION MISSING CAMPAIGN permalink* January 15, 2013 12:38 pm Dear Pooja, For legal counsel on your specific case, we do advise you talk to a lawyer that your family knows and trusts, and ask him what the best approach would be. If you press for extra-marital affair, the courts might try to reconcile you, and leave it at that. That does not mean your husband will stop his affairs, or stop abusing and blackmailing you. For that, you need to be absolutely sure that you will not be talked into going back to your husband. But he has also been harassing you for money. Do you have proof of that, receipts, dates, amount etc. And also the incidents of physical and emotional abuse. That’s a stronger case, and for that the 498A most probably would apply. We would suggest, you take this evidence of abuse and blackmailing, with dates, amounts, etc. and go to a lawyer that your family trusts. Giving away more money and compromising your life and safety and that of your child, is not a wise option. You destryoing yourself. So please move out soon as possible, and start a new life the best way we can. pooja permalink
Posted on: Thu, 22 Aug 2013 18:37:02 +0000
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