I stopped praying and I stopped doing everything good and - TopicsExpress

I stopped praying and I stopped doing everything good and returned to masturbation again after two year of quitting, I feel lost, I dont know who I am anymore. When I was praying I was always questioning myself, why am I praying? Am I a hypocrite? I always thought of myself as a hypocrite, and I preferred to pray without telling anyone or anyone seeing me because only then I would feel comfortable and know for sure I am not a hypocrite. Right now at this moment when I realize I am back to who I was and that I have failed to sustain being a good person, I realize in fact yes I was a hypocrite. But I was praying at my own free will, I wanted to pray, I worked on praying Fajr on time, I made sure I dont miss a prayer. I wanted to do those things for God, I was happy with where I was, I felt safe. I have lost my faith, I am depressed, I am sick and tired of myself, and I cant sleep anymore.

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