I was impressed until he started carrying his bike. I woulda rode that shit. I can do that in my sleep. I do it all the time. I have very vivid dreams of doing that and more. I wouldnt try it awake like he did but we dont need to get bogged down in minor details. Oh, and that part where he ran into the fence, flipped over and then rode away, ya, so what. Ive done that too, but as much as I may rock, Im a pretty humble stud. I dont have that huge ego he has so I didnt feel the need to bring out an entire film crew with their big fancy cameras in order to document it and splatter it all over the internet in an attempt to impress all my friends and a bunch of strangers here on Facebook. In fact, I submit that it was far more impressive when I did it, I mean, big deal, he rode his bicycle into a fence, which was stationary, (if you care to go back and look at the footage he felt the need to share with us all), doing only one, uno, singular, solitary flip, and rode away still on his bicycle. When I did it, I was on motorcycle, which Id like to point out, is much bigger and heavier than a bicycle, and I didnt just stroll up to a stationary fence surrounded by soft fluffy grass and weeds in case things didnt go as planned, in fact, my stunt wasnt even planned. It was much more spontaneous. Yep, this is where we separate the men from the boys. I was doing what the investigators determined, (for citation purposes, and their childish need to assign blame), to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 70 mph, and I had another man on the back of my bike. Dont worry, it was before dark and therefore considered to be not gay, as anybody in the sport bike world will tell you. Anyways, instead of a stationary fence on grass like stud boy here, I did it using a moving vehicle on asphalt. So, where he started out riding a bicycle up to a fence, catching his front wheel on it to initiate a single flip, without uttering a single word, probably because of the need to concentrate on his trick, then land and ride away on his bicycle, I started out on a motorcycle, rode into a moving vehicle, catching my front wheel, handlebars, seat, foot peg, taillight, and face on it, to initiate something like eleventy-seven front, side, and back flips, a trick I call the gravel inspector, plus several skips and bounces, and a few ballet moves with a partner, all while still being able to cry, scream, call out for my mommy, and even insert a long, oh shit, then land and ride away in an ambulance. Yep, you read that correctly. I started my trick with one form of transportation and ended it with a totally different type. This is whats wrong with the kids today. When your trick starts and ends with a single form of transportation and Red Bulls handing you sponsorships, its no wonder theres such a sense of entitlement these days. Pfft, Red Bull and only a single flip. Any question why they were just sued for false advertising? It certainly didnt give him wings. I did my marvelous feat after only 1 quick swig of Rasberry-Lemonade Snapple. Imagine what I might have done had I drank the whole bottle, but I couldnt because I just brushed my teeth and toothpaste makes lemonade taste incredibly bitter and foul
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 07:52:38 +0000
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