I was sedated last night. I slept. I woke up at 8:05 and looked at the clock. I knew it was a familiar time, but I couldnt wrap my mind around why. And then a grenade went off in my chest and I knew. I remembered. It hadnt been a dream. At that time yesterday I was laying in the hospital bed with my baby, being wheeled into the OR so they could end his mortal life forever and take his organs. The last time I touched his body and heard his heart beat. My god my god. I dont know how we can do this. How can we travel home, across roads of good memories and happy times, with his little carseat in the van, with his hair still on the head rest, his little shoes and sippy cup still in place like nothing changed. And then walk into a house full of Garrett. I. Cant. Do. This.
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 15:43:13 +0000
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