ITS HARD TO MIND READ ... One thing i truly respect about outgoing/expressive/confrontational personalities, when you offend them, they let you know ... And if they do in a respectful manner then even better ... But honestly just the expression is greatly appreciated ... An expressive personality to an expressive personality is a cool ... You feel like you can be who you are, and while being you, if you offended them, they tell you... Rather than constantly filtering what to say, when to say, and how to say it, least you hurt them, which these days its so easy to do because we are so bruised and anything can trigger an unhealed wound, and since they dont tell you until its too late, ie you realize when you notice they have shut down, you are practically walking on egg shells. One of my biggest fears is marrying someone like this... If i have a choice, i would rather not, but however, if i did, then we have both have a part to play ... One to learn to be even more sensitive, and another to be learn to be verbally expressive, and not being naive in realizing that how your response, ie the lack of it, is in itself a response, and one that is hurtful too... How do you shut down and not realize your difference is hurtful. The assumption that being non-confrontational is a way not to hurt the others feelings, is infect, as it turns out, not so ... Your indifference is hurtful, and worse i cant remember what i did or when i did it. Im on trial for something i know not, and i cant plead my case nor apologize, where is the justice, and then we talk about not judging and loving each other ??? ... We all make mistakes, and do or say things that someone might perceive hurtful, and mostly, its truly unintentional. We are mostly just trying to meet a need, or be who are, or hadnt realized it hurtful, or never learnt the better way of communicating with that personality ... Either way, i would rather have someone express why they are feeling hurt or offended than someone who just walks away and shuts down. And ofcourse there is a difference between walking away, and taking a minute to cool off ... the latter being understandable, respectable, and appreciated. Let me know what i did, when i did it, and how i did it, so i clarify or apologize where i have to, instead of making unfair conclusions of what you think i meant based on your past unhealed experiences. Truly, you can only fight if someone will fight with you ... you can make the relationship work if both people are invested ... they are willing to communicate and or apologize where needed ... Its hard to mind read.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Jan 2014 14:57:31 +0000
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