Im a man of few regrets. Most of the ones that do come to mind are pretty common: I wish I didnt eat Pop Tarts and Taco Bell so often growing up, I wish I wasnt such a materialistic kid, that sort of thing. Every now and then, though, I find myself thinking back to one moment in my life where I have to ask myself, You cad. Why didnt you do anything? Why didnt you speak up? Given how often I speak to begin with, I suppose thats saying something. It was during my first, maybe second year in college. In-between classes, I used to hang out with a specific bunch of like-minded people at UH Manoa - gamers, nerds, and so on. I still keep in touch with most of them, so if youre reading this, you might even remember this story. One night, somewhere around a dozen of us went to the local movie theater. The group consisted mostly of people I knew, including Jacob (not his real name), an incredibly likable guy who mirrored my interests, above-average BMI, and below-average skull structure almost to a T. The group also included a few new faces, including Vanessa (her real name, I think), a young Asian lady attractive 32% by virtue of her physique and 68% by her makeup skills. Vanessa and her friend (a vested member of our group) arrived and began to find their seats. Vanessa walked by Jacob, who proceeded to offer a handshake, a smile, and a Hi, Im Jacob. It was a simple hello. From my vantage point one row behind them, Vanessa replied with an Ew, sorry, no and walked to her seat elsewhere in the row. Granted, I could have misheard her. I could have misinterpreted her completely brushing my friends polite gesture aside as something else. At that moment, though, with what little evidence I had, I wanted to chew her out. I wanted to reprimand her for being the shallow wench I was sure she was. But I didnt. I couldnt tell you exactly why. Maybe the previews had started soon after. Maybe she was sitting too far away. Maybe I didnt want to sour a group outing. Or maybe I was just afraid. Of what, I dont know, but maybe I was just afraid to speak my mind. Afraid to tell her what she deserved to hear. Afraid to stand up for my friend Jacob, who barely said a word for the rest of the evening. The story has something of a happy ending, though. Jacob in fact found love very soon thereafter, and although that relationship ended, hes currently very much in love with his current girlfriend, career, and to be sure life in general. I have no idea what happened to Vanessa, nor do I expect myself to care anytime soon. Im probably sharing this on social media so I can come to terms with my failure that night, to remind myself that although you cant change the past, the future is still yours for the making. Ive been in the habit of telling people that without my friends, socially, spiritually, Im nothing. I just need to become a better friend, if not for their sake, but for my own.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 07:37:08 +0000
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