Im starting to see, in my newsfeed, people following Shepherd Smiths terrible lead and calling Robin Williams, and those who commit suicide, selfish and cowardly. It has upset me, as it always does when I witness a lack of empathy from people I otherwise like and admire. I am going to try and address this without over sharing, because I dont know some of you that well. I have, in recent years, been doing things that scare me, letting go—all on a mission to be less guarded and that is why those some of you are now a part of my Facebook experience. That can be difficult, when frankly youre a little too sensitive some days for the worst of humanity but....Someones truth is never bad to hear, even if youre strangers. Here goes: It is completely self involved to call suicide selfish. To see it that way is revealing YOU and no one else. You are thinking of the love being denied you or (this IS empathetic of you) the loved ones left behind by someone elses death. I can speak to this personally. Someone I loved more than anyone in this world, attempted suicide several times and, in one case, right in front of me. Even as I was stopping it, I thought, Why dont you love me enough to be here? And yes, it is definitely emotionally scarring, but since Ive grown to be a woman who has lived as human and fragile a life as anyone, Ive come to know that suicide doesnt mean someone doesnt love the people in their lives enough. What is enough anyway? Its not always about you—something children dont and shouldnt have to understand, which is why it will be particularly awful for them. It definitely stayed with me and has left its mark—for good and bad. I came to know, and know for sure, love for others is what has given any depressed person (not a little sad, a little blue, or having a self pity fit) the strength to ever have fought this thing that is so much bigger than they are. This flip and SELFISH dismissal of suicide as cowardly is not only absurd, it compounds the shame that keeps people from seeking help, keeps people hating themselves, contributes to horrifying internal thoughts that tell them they are weak, worthless—NOTHING. People with mental illness are not weak. You will never ever know how strong a person with depression has been to survive at all. We cant afford to live anymore in a world where people with mental illness are shamed by this kind of cynical and self- serving finger pointing, disguised as tough truth telling. When you do that you are making clear you see that person as damaged, not worthy of love. Really, youre scared when you say things like that. Depressed people are likely no more or less sane than you are, definitely no more or less filled with the love, flaws, joy, misery and spirit you are. Youre afraid of that and so you look down at someone lying naked in the bottom of the deepest pit, with no stairs, no rope, no groove to support their feet, their hands, and call them selfish for not getting out...while you stand there judging instead of helping.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 22:22:31 +0000
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