In memory of my dearest daughter! I am sharing something very personal and intent is to spread awareness on some cruel facts that the best hospital and best gynecologist… migh...t not warn you about! On 7th June 2013, I lost my very pretty and precious daughter, who was “Still Born” due to “Nuchal Cord Accident”. Most of you would be unaware of these terms but all of you are smart enough to Google it… and when you do that …. my purpose is done! 0.15% of all unborn babies are at risk of still birth and the cause can be one of several reasons. A phenomenon as rare as this is obviously not well discussed and propagated. Now that I have gone through it, I urge all to-be-mothers to keep a very strict monitoring in last trimester and to educate themselves on “Nuchal Cord Accidents” and “Risks of Still Birth”. For me, it had been a very safe and healthy time till last day, without any issues as all tests were normal by grace of Allah. My unborn little angel was an active child, all her ultrasounds had been normal.. But Allah had a different plan for us, I lost her just few hours before her birth, she was a full term baby… I carried her for 38th weeks, went through the thin and thick all alone and yet couldn’t get a chance to see her for a minute, to hold her once; I just glanced at her innocent beautiful face, her very beautiful closed eyes. She was a real princess, a real fairy and a “true sleeping beauty” and the nurse took her away forever. I still feel some guilt inside my heart although I know that I couldn’t have done anything to save her. It was God’s will and Alhamdolillah, He has given me much strength to bear the unbearable. Nuchal Chord happens when the baby gets strangled in umbilical cord and the blood supply disrupts, causing death. It happens mostly in the final trimester. Unfortunately in my case, I lost her a day before her scheduled arrival. My doctor is a seasoned gynecologist renowned for treating complicated cases … she had treated both my pregnancies well but a being can’t give life without Allah’s will. I learned that she had died just few hours before I reached AKUH. After the incident, I stopped using cell phone and social websites…. Because I had been receiving good wishes and sweet words from all… so I couldn’t muster up strength to bear condolences… few days later. All that shopping we had done for her, I spent days decorating her room, her cot, her stuff.. in fact Daddy had brought a giant doll for her. We both were left speechless staring at all that. Abdullah remained disturbed for a long time …. He is too little to understand what happened but he is old enough to know that his parents are grief struck. Abdullah had made several drawings to welcome his to-be sibling and he was too excited that he has someone to play with, finally. Our lives… specially my life and the way I looked at it... had toppled upside down. There is another ethical issue, which parents in our society may go through after such a traumatic accident, while their own flesh and blood is resting under tons of sand in a deserted graveyard! Few of my dear ones reminded that my darling daughter will be holding my hand in Jannah which really made me feel at peace. However……… I also heard a few saying that; we should ask for forgiveness from Allah. Amazing that people untouched by morality are so judgmental about good and evil. Forgiveness is for everyone, not for grieving alone. Going through a tragedy doesn’t reflect an evil repercussion infact its God’s will. So should be very careful when sympathizing with heartbroken parents. I may sound very crude however it’s still an attempt to make people realize the pain of a mother, biggest pain of all. I well and truly don’t bother about the insincere lot because I want to gather myself and stand up for my family. I don’t want anyone to sympathize with me as it was the will of my dear ALLAH, I want you all to remember me and Saad in your prayers in blessed month of Ramadan. May Allah protect all of our children and bless them with long and healthy life. I will feel blessed if this piece of writing helps someone and can bring a positive change in someone’s perception on life, miseries and condolences. And I know my dear baby girl will soon be with us on the day of resurrection forever and she will be called by my name. I love you my dear girl, Mamma, Daddy and Chinto miss you so miserably!
Posted on: Sat, 20 Jul 2013 19:53:58 +0000