In the Autumn of 2006 I found myself alone driving north along Rte 77 after a long restful time with my sister Anne in Asheville, and my mother who lived down the way in Black Mountain, North Carolina. I had just resigned from my job with the Titusville School District after 8 years of kids, kids, kids. One day I had found myself sitting at those low tables on one of those teeny chairs, the children napping, and I could tell I had somehow disconnected. I was back up on the ceiling, looking down at the scene, my body lumped over the table set with snacks, and the now-angelic children fast asleep. I thought: You cant do a job like this if you are not connected to these kids. They deserve more than a robot going through the motions. Let me back up, and just FYI, I am bi-polar, and have gone 11 years without a set-back. A set-back is stress induced, and even in the midst of a very stressful job (please dont tell me how much you love kids...kids are kids, I had a few, remember?), but this was the first sign that I was entering a true disconnect. I also had breast cancer for 7 years before they finally decided to do something about it...and after having the double mastectomies, and recovering from all that very well, only missed the minimum weeks of work. Dont look back, we told ourselves...Life is precious, just be grateful. Which I am. But I couldnt go back to work. I no longer could walk down those halls and even say Hello to my new supervisor. I could, however, with Alvins most wonderful blessing, say Good-bye to work outside the home. Back to driving north on 77...I wasnt asking God what I should do. At that time, I was merely resting. Yet, as I wound up those mountains towards Beckley, probably going about 85mph because thats the speed that little Hyundai preferred driving up mountains at, I literally saw words go across the screen of my mind that said: Go back to school for writing. The words were rather in a ticker tape format...as if they were unrolling off a scroll from the right side of my vision. It had never occurred to me to go back to college, though I often dreamt of being in school rooms. Usually those paranoid dreams, sitting in class with no books, no homework done, not finding my room, realizing I had forgotten to go to class all year type of dreams. In the winter of 2007 I was enrolled in two classes, and as part of the assignment for the writing class, I had to write one full page daily, plus a short-short story per week. That writing seminar class was so fulfilling that I took it again the next winter, and ended up with enough material for two books. One is entitled Journey Down the Days which is a collection of essays and ruminations. The book of short stories is shy of finished, all fictional biography, my attempt to write out of my memories the quirks still lurking in my soul. I had the goal of honesty with the hope of ending with what I consider to be the only true theme for my writing: Redemption. Redemption comes in many forms, and is not the private property of Christianity, so while some did not feel that my writings were quite so redemptive, they were for me! So here I am, 7 years later, and ready to dive deep again into the murky waters of my mind...hoping to filter out what was real, or true, or worthy. In the end, it all matters. There is no hope of legacy, or future interests, or remuneration. I merely need to once again get into the groove of who I am, when all is stripped away. A writer, who sometimes likes to draw. If we cant do what is in our hearts to do by the time we are in our 60s, when are we going to start? Or start again? All this is to say, that I will be again posting my writings online...first here on Facebook, and then well see. I may very well set up a new page specifically for the writings, which I see as somewhat like writing a bi-weekly column. Feel free to share, to spread the word if you like what you see. This is just to say, Hello Again, to those many people who read my work for the two years I posted my writings. I also so appreciate the friends I made whom I have never even met in real life! They wrote to me from all over the world, widening my understanding of people and their stories. My faithful readers! Be well, my friends, I bless you with all blessings. B
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 18:26:42 +0000
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