It is very easy for us to grossly underestimate the power of facing our fear. This is what robs some of us of achieving our greatest potential. It robs the world of US - everything we have to offer. We stay in sh*tty situations, or even in limbo (neither moving forward nor backwards) because we havent even articulated what we think we might be afraid of. The fear is of something we are bigger/stronger/better than, something vague, or something that doesnt even exist - but we dont even know because we havent taken the time to face it. Asking and honestly answering What is the worst that can happen if I do X, or dont do Y? is one of the most freedom-inducing exercises anyone can undergo. You cannot face or overcome what you have not articulated, because you havent assessed it. Sometimes, us Christians cover it up with faith. Faith is not the same as the denial of the existence of fear. Denial is just that - denial. I did an interview thats not out yet, and I was asked about fear. I knew what they wanted me to answer (the more you do some things, the more you can gauge what answers people want you to give - especially if you self-identify a certain way). I wont lie because Im talking to a faith-based publication, and I know it might look nice to come across as some sort of super Christian who is never afraid because the Bible says Do not be afraid. Courage is not the absence of fear, just like patience doesnt just mean waiting - but what you do as you wait. If youre tapping your foot, muttering, checking your watch and your temperature and temper are spiking as you wait; you are NOT patient. Courage isnt the absence of fear. There have been people who were described as brave and courageous and they have said, Reflex just kicked in - like the guy who was ready to jump into the River Thames to rescue someone who was determined to commit suicide. Or the person who saw a strangers baby fall in the cracks between the train and the platform, yet jumped in to rescue them. Sometimes, what we call courage is as a result of lack of information (for instance, I might walk down a certain path, because I dont even know there are lions there); not processing information correctly or quickly (for instance, I know that train tracks will electrocute, but all I can see is a person who has fallen there ... and an oncoming train). And sometimes, its as a result of thinking. Articulating. Verbalising. What am I really afraid of? What is the worst that will happen if I do X, or dont do Y? Whats the worst thatll happen if you up sticks and emigrate to Australia, like youve always wanted? What, youll get a tan ... and maybe, an accent? Is that so bad? Whats the worst that will happen if you admit to that person that you love them more than you thought you were capable of loving another human being; that if anything happens to them, it would devastate you? What, you might get that happily ever after - would that be so terrible? What would be the worst that can happen if you dont make the cut-off mark to get into Medicine at university, this year? What - youd get into Biochem instead? Is that so horrible? Why? What would be the worst that could happen if you were actually nice to the person youre with? What - people will call you weak, p*ssy-whipped, not a real man, under a spell? Is that so bad? Why? Whats the worst that will happen, if you walk away from that abusive relationship/marriage? What, youll be able to sleep peacefully in a straight position - as opposed to curled up like a foetus? Lady, youre 5 8; the foetal position stopped working for you, as soon as you came out of your mothers womb. What - youll stop lying that you fell down the stairs - when everyone knows you live in a bungalow/on the ground floor? Would that really be so bad? People will judge you, people will talk - but theyre already doing so. You cannot make yourself responsible for the voices in someone elses head. It can be a bit of a job, trying to keep up with what is going on in your own head - what with all the different directions your mind can go. Why do you want to add what people who dont know you/arent feeding you/dont even know that youre alive, may or may not be thinking about you, to your list of stuff you need to deal with? Yes, there might be a valid fear. You might hate it in Australia. Your parents might have said they will disown and make you miserable if you dont get into Medicine this year. (Newsflash - African parents - if youve given birth to a child, you cannot disown them. It doesnt matter how much you rant, how much drama you initiate, or if you think youre threatening God, the child is and will always be a biological result of your sperm or eggs. The child is already here; you cannot send them back - at least, not without serious repercussions. A child is not something you can return to Tesco because you have changed your mind). You might have to live on baked beans and toast for the next nine months, if you leave the abusive partner. And people might point at you and say, Ah how have the mighty fallen. This is a woman who could not endure, even for the sake of her kids. She used to eat at the worlds best restaurants. Now, she can barely afford to eat once a day. The person you love, might be an idiot who doesnt appreciate a good thing. She might be a silly or damaged woman who doesnt know what a blessing shes got in you. But at least, youll know. Youd have faced that fear - youll know. Youll know what your strengths are; not what you imagined they were. Youll know what your limitations are; not what someone has imposed on you. The gap between who youve become as a result of circumstances, and who you were born to be, will start to close - youll start moving towards the person you were born to be. And youll discover that youve remembered how to breathe; I mean, really breathe.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 07:25:34 +0000
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