Ive never shared my story with anyone but my boyfriend and my best friend so I figured Id give this a try....keep me anon please....when I was14 I became pregnant with the first guy I was ever with. (Yeah, I know. I was young, I was dumb, Ive long come to terms with my stupidity here) I thought I was in love with the guy but he was abusive and controlling. So when we found out through a blood test that I was pregnant he freaked out. My mum was furious at first but urged me to do whatever I felt was right as shed support me. I wanted to keep the baby. My boyfriend had different plans. When I told him he snapped. He punched me in the stomach and slammed me on the ground before stomping on my stomach. I was able to get away but that night I started bleeding. At first it was just spotting. I wasnt too worried. My first doctors appointment I went in with my mom for a sonogram. They couldnt detect a heart beat but determined it was too early to tell. I was only 6 weeks at that point. 2 weeks later the bleeding got worse, I was in so much pain. My mom took me to the er and the doctors told me that I was still pregnant and they werent sure what the problem was but they recommended terminating the pregnancy seeing as they still couldnt find a heartbeat and it seemed to them the sack was empty. So, I scheduled a d and c for 2 weeks later, hoping that by that time there would be a heart beat and that they were wrong. I was 10 weeks+1 when I got the d and c. There was no heartbeat...but there was a baby in the sac. My little angel already gone from his or her fathers actions. I wish I had known the gender or been able to hold the baby....but I know now it probably wouldve been just that much harder for me at a young age. Me and my mom grew very close afterwards. Fast forward 4 years and Ive already graduated high school, in college, with the perfect man and I find out Im pregnant. I conceived my baby a year after my mom passed away around the same date (January 18th) but i didnt find out until 8 weeks along. I couldnt believe it. I was going to be a mommy finally. With the most wonderful man ever. I had my rainbow baby on October 24th, 2013 at 40 weeks+3 via emergency c-section. He was 6 lbs 12 oz, 20 inches and the most beautiful baby I had set my eyes on. Hes now 3 months old and the love of my life (along with his daddy) it still hurts sometimes when I think of my first baby...but I know I wasnt ready and that god had other plans for me at the time. I am so thankful for my little guy being with me today.
Posted on: Fri, 24 Jan 2014 09:53:34 +0000