LOVE TIP #2: WHEN THEY SAY THEYRE NOT READY “Listen... I have feelings for you, but Im not ready for all that yet.” Weve all heard these agonizing words. You meet someone... you flirt it up... sparks fly... emotions run feverishly wild... late night chat dates become the norm... you go on some dates... you laugh... they laugh... your neighbor laughs... that was weird... can he really hear us through the walls?... oh well... you go back on some more dates... you wonder if you have food on your face... am I talking enough... are they talking enough... youre interested but should you play like youre interested... because if Im interested she might not be interested... and then you go on some other dates but a few of those dates were with other friends... so were they really dates or were they just friend dates... so does that mean were dating?? The thought process goes on and on and on. So, inevitably at some point you cross that ocean of anxiety and you decide to ask them how they feel... and then it happens... “I like you... I really do... but Im not ready yet.” Ugh. So what do these words mean? What does this guy or girl mean when they say “theyre not ready”? Well let me tell you what it means. Now, I know weve all heard this, and I know that person will tell you how much this may not be the case... but I will absolutely, without a shadow-of-a-doubt tell you that the reason they are not ready for a relationship is for one reason and one reason only... They want to keep their options open. Yep, its true. Next, without fail, theyre going to give you some spiel about how their last relationship was tough on them and how they want to take it slow... or theyre busy with work or they dont have much time or my personal favorite... theyre “focused on school right now”... blah blah blah blah blah. Let me tell you this... when is the last time you really, really liked someone to a point where you didnt mind not having them to yourself? If they want you and only you... theyll find a way. Never... in all my years... did I think to myself “You know, Jason... this girl is great and you really like her a lot... everything seems right about her but you know what? You did sign up for a whopping 13 credit hours of college this semester, and one of those classes is Ballroom Dancing and I have lots of steps to learn for that. Nope, I dont have time for her.” Trust me... if you were the only one on their mind, they would make room for you in their life. It may not be a whole lot of time, depending on what theyre doing, but someone who cares for you and only you will at least try. Otherwise, trust me... theyre keeping their options open. Now, dont get your hopes totally down. This doesnt mean they dont like you. They meant that part. After all, youre fun... kinda tall... you are great at maintaining conversation... you know, all those things that girls pretend to want. What they arent telling you is that Johnny Quarterback, the Ryan Gosling look-a-like guy from next door, Brad from her Psych class, and Chad the Yoga instructor are all on her mind as well. She sees them as options too... options shes not exactly ready to give up on. Theyre testing you out in a less-than-serious fashion. Trust me, I know every ounce of you wants to believe that theyre just “trying to work some things out for themselves right now”, but you have to trust me on this... theyre merely keeping their options open. So whats going to happen? Unfortunately it usually goes one way. Chances are... unless the timing is just right... and the light shines just perfectly on your face as she sees you for the first time... and the stars align in such a way that shes forever enchanted by your gaze from that moment forward... chances are youre a stepping stone to someone else. It hurts to hear, and it doesnt go without fail, but thats the direction its leading. My advice to you? Take it for what it is. Dont keep pushing to make it serious. Sit back and enjoy the moments for what they are. So many times Ive looked back on moments with a girl, and I honestly thought that amazing moment was going to be one that I got to share with her over and over... time and time again. Looking back, it turned out to be the last moment I would get to be with her. So, stop taking it so serious. Sit back, let him or her make you laugh... tell your stories... watch dumb movies... enjoy each moment for what it is, and you never know... … one day the timing, the light, and the stars might just work out perfectly for you :)
Posted on: Sat, 18 Jan 2014 18:52:49 +0000
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