“Life is just a long process of losing everyone you love, like, hate, want and dont need What can be learned from losing people in life whether it was problems that have set you apart, misunderstandings, or even death itself?! Well, in my experience it has been very different depending on the person and the relationship, but some common lessons emerge: 1. Do cherish those around you. I think this is the most immediate and universal reaction to any lose in life is appreciation and gratitude. Losing people will heighten your appreciation of the rest you have, and will tend to shock you into being sure that with those still in your life, you spend the time and focus with them, expressing the love and gratitude that they and you deserve. I think this is often momentarily obvious to people at the time they lose someone, but not so obvious at other times. 2. Forgive! It happens if you allow it. Losing someone with whom you were not harmonious can be a devastating experience. I lost a friend with whom I had not been talking for the previous year or so due to a falling out. The feeling of incompletion was absolutely terrible. Even with losses where I felt almost entirely complete with the person at the time of their departure, I have been nagged remembering little miscommunication(s) that could no longer be resolved. Forgiveness and communication need to happen as close to real time as possible. A misunderstanding should never lead to cementing a bitter silence: parting ways is OK, staying in touch is OK; but in either case clarity of communication, including forgiving the other person and at least “agreeing to disagree” (rather than holding grudges) is the best path. 3. Life is a movie, not an instagram picture! I have had friends die when they were young, and when they have faced health problems that brought them to the point of being unrecognizable physically. I had a friend whose health diminished, and who saw his friends dissipate from his life as his condition worsened. It has stunned me when losing someone in poor health that my image of them shifted dramatically. Rather than thinking of them in terms of the limits of their health that dominated our final interaction, I would remember them at different ages, such as when they were in their prime. Sometimes my concept of the person has made a dramatic shift after losing them. It has struck me that you can only comprehend the depth of a person by considering their history, accomplishments and evolution. 4. Live your life to the Max! Like cherishing those around you, the notion of living life to the fullest is a very common reaction to loss. This is probably because we tend to bury thoughts of loss in order to go on living, and a loss gives us a stark reminder of the incredible gift of life we have before us. I once had a medical condition that hit me entirely abruptly: I woke up one morning and couldn’t walk. The initial conclusions of the doctors were bleak, and I spent a month barely able to move, thinking I was probably going to get paralyzed entirely at some point. It is ironic, but I count this experience as one of the greatest blessings in my entire life. I can’t say always, but at many points my recollections of not having health, of facing my own inevitable paralysis! have given me far greater appreciation of the incredible gift that life is to us. Loss sure is a paradox we may never fully comprehend, yet it is an inevitable fact of life that should inspire us to do better in the time we have. We - Truly - live & learn. Have a blessed night everyone...Cheerio :)
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 00:40:14 +0000
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