Lost is a sea of details! Our security is based on our sense of sameness and continuity in or lives and relationships. Our world is full of dynamic change that continuously occurs around us. Fortunately for many of us, we can handle these changes, because we can perceive the stable patterns (whole picture) underlying this flux of change. Our sense of security is based on certain “constants” (family, friends, job, values, religious beliefs, etc.) that provide continuity and congruency in our lives. We also can see past the little daily snags and challenges that require us to “shift gears”, to understand that our basic life patterns (whole picture) haven’t changed. We can sense the invisible patterns underlying the changes to small details. It is our ability to read between the details to see the overall meaning that allows us to feel secure in the face of these changes. We can adjust and accommodate to unexpected changes because we understand that these surfaces changes do not disrupt or major life patterns. We can take a deep breath, and try a different way when we run into daily snags. We know that it is a temporary setback that simply requires us to “try a different way.” It hasn’t changed what we want to do, just taking a temporary detour. The world doesn’t collapse, because we can see the underlying pattern in face of the changing details. This is what we call “flexible thinking”; the ability to “go with the flow”, handle the little snags, and shift gears to incorporate changes into our stable life patterns. We can see that the “big picture” doesn’t really change, just some of the surface details. When our usual way to work is blocked, we can simply shift gears and take a different route. We can come home to our house, when someone has moved a piece of furniture around and still “feel it” as the same room. We may get an initial “shock”, but quickly realize nothing has really changed. The important “overall picture or major themes in our lives stay the same. We can see the underlying current, regardless of the waves above it. We look past the details to the overall picture to keep our sense of security. We see past the surface details and notice that the underlying meaning stays the same. In other words, we can see the “sameness” (continuity) in the sea of details. The details can change, without affecting the underlying patterns. We can stay safe and secure, realizing that things look a little different without effecting the overall picture or themes in our lives. We have “same but different, different but same” thinking. We understand and can interpret that we can have change in surface detail but the big picture remains the same. We immediately look past the surface details to read the overall meaning. This allows us to often ignore simply changes to the details, because we automatic see the overall picture. For many on the spectrum, this is difficult for them. They have difficulty sensing the underlying meaning behind the details that provide this “same but different, different but same” thinking. They become very dependent on the details, piecing them together to see the whole picture. The overall picture is very dependent on how the pieces fit together. One change in the puzzle and the overall picture changes. For some people on the spectrum, if you make small changes in the details, the overall picture is no longer the same. Some children, if you change your hair color, cut your hair, put on glasses, or make other surface changes, they do not see the “same” person. Or, if you change the furniture around in the living room, it is no longer their “safe and secure” home. The stable patterns (relationships) in their lives change based on the simply changes in detail. The same patterns and relationships that provide meaning and security in our life, for them are dependent on the details staying the same. Make one or two simple changes in the details and the whole mountain comes crumbling down. The simple “constants” in our lives that help us feel safe and secure, are very fragile and vulnerable to simple changes. Take out a piece and the “whole” comes crumbling down. There is no “same but different!” Only different! The world changes based on the constant flux in details. Their sense of safety and security is threatened by the ongoing changes in details. This results in ongoing stress and anxiety; chronic anxiety that leads to the rigid need for sameness, obsessive compulsiveness, and chronic fear of uncertainty. In addition, the sensing of the underlying “big picture” can be very hamper by their hyper-focus on details. For many on the spectrum, their brains cannot “filter out” the massive flux of details, often leading them to become so overwhelmed that they cannot see the “big picture”. For example, when talking with others, a person on the spectrum may be so distracted by the noise, lights, and smells occurring around them that they cannot focus on what is being said. Or, they may be distracted by an ear ring reflecting light and not hear what is said. Whereas neurotypical people can filter out all this background “noise”, and stay focused on the interaction, many on the spectrum are so distracted or overwhelmed by the stimulation that they cannot focus on the task at hand. This also tends to set the brain in panic mode (overload) resulting is a tidal wave of anxiety. This again makes it hard for those on the spectrum to feel “safe and secure” in our world of dynamic flux of change. We all need “constancy” in our lives to feel safe and secure. We all need to know that beneath the surface of ongoing flux, there is “sameness” and stability in our lives. That even though there are unexpected snags and changes that we cannot control, the important consistencies remain the same. When you have difficulty seeing the “sameness” underlying the changes to the surface details, you are left vulnerable to the minuet changes and snags that our world presents. This lack of “central coherence” (seeing the big picture) can create ongoing insecurity and anxiety. This is why little changes can set off “panic” in people on the spectrum. This is one reason why they so strongly need “sameness”, and are resistant to change. This is also why they “freak” when there are minor snags or unexpected changes in their life. Their world of security comes crumbling down when there are unexpected changes in the details of their lives. It is very important that everything stays the same, unless they are the ones making the changes. Unfortunately, our world is a constant flux of change which presents ongoing insecurity and fear in the lives of those on the spectrum. So, if your loved one on the spectrum needs to have everything the “same way”, do everything the “save way,” control all interaction and activity around them, and melts down with little unexpected changes, you can have a little more empathy for what they are experiencing.
Posted on: Tue, 10 Sep 2013 18:00:14 +0000
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