Marriage Counseling: Seek Help Before it is Too Late Typically I wrap up intensives with feelings of excitement by seeing couples move from profound disconnection to reconciliation in a 3 day intensive, but during this intensive the husband chose to end his 15 year marriage I was not necessarily devastated by my inability to save this marriage, but rather devastated for the wife and children who had to pick up the pieces of their life and try to move on without a husband and full-time father. Divorce not only brings the separation of two people, but a division of all assets, potential poverty, and complete brokenness. Not to mention the ugly custody battles, which result in children by the door waiting for their parent who may never come. You may be asking why anyone would want to divorce? Or maybe you are reading this and your marriage is hanging on by its last thread. The answer is couples often wait TOO long before they seek help. The most common situation we see at the Marriage counseling Centers are couples who have been experiencing problems for 5, 10 or even 20 years. These couples may initially visit with their pastor or see a counselor 1-2 times. Though without taking extreme measures to get help, these issues NEVER get resolved and couples emotionally shut down and become vulnerable to emotional and physical affairs. Once another person is involved in the marriage, reconciliation becomes much more difficult. So what can you do if your marriage is going downhill fast? 1. Come out of denial. At the Marriage counseling Centers we believe denial stands for Don’t Even Know I Am Lying to myself. You cannot address problems that you refuse to see, stuff away, or avoid. 2. Stop Whining and complaining. Complaining about how bad your marriage is will not get anything accomplished. Take action. Make a firm request to your spouse that change must occur through counseling. 3. Protect your heart. Be cautious about relationships with the opposite gender. Don’t put yourself in a vulnerable position with a man or woman who is not your spouse. Ask your spouse to protect his or her heart. Pray for protection over your marriage. 4. Seek intensive marriage counseling. Just as you would not use a Band aid for a huge wound, seeking counseling 1 hour a week will not resolve the crisis you are in. Consider researching the benefits of a marriage intensive at the Marriage counseling Center. 5. Prepare yourself for some hard work. With change comes HARD work to break the dysfunctional patterns in your marriage. Follow up counseling with daily work on yourself, your marriage, and ensure you have accountability built into your change process. If you choose to seek help as soon as problems arise in your relationship, there is incredible hope for change to occur. For more advice on a healthy marriage, email me(otosam02@yahoo)
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 10:44:16 +0000
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